


Who Pays Any Attention/to the Syntax of Things

by aimmyarrowshigh, nichestars



Series: Since Feeling Is First [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, Star Wars: Poe Dameron (Comics)
Genre: Alien Biology, Body Image, Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, First Time, Friends to Lovers, Loss of Virginity, Sex Toys, Xenophilia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-28
Updated: 2017-07-28
Packaged: 2018-12-08 05:27:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 24,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11639853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aimmyarrowshigh/pseuds/aimmyarrowshigh, https://archiveofourown.org/users/nichestars/pseuds/nichestars
Summary: Her fangs have been spurting venom into her mouth insistently for what feels like hours now, the primal part of her desperate to pin him on her teeth so she can keep him still and get what her own body wants, but — it's Poe. It'sPoe, and she could love him someday, and she wants to be soft with him.--Or, NRDF Cadet Poe's notions of romantic love as a panacea are disrupted by the reality that for some beings, like squamatan Suralinda, easy closeness and affection aren't so easy. Karé is surprisingly helpful and a pretty great best friend.





	Who Pays Any Attention/to the Syntax of Things

**Author's Note:**

> Since this is The Most Niche Rarepair of All The Niche Rarepairs: this is [Suralinda Javos](http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Suralinda_Javos), Poe's blue alien babe BFF.

Suralinda is going over her flimsi notes for xenobiology when Karé slinks in the door, closing it just as the curfew bells chime in the hall. Suralinda doesn't look up, just grins at the stack of papers in her lap. "Have fun tonight, Kun?" 

"I did, thank you," Karé says unusually primly, sounding like the voice they all use to mock her Nabooya royal accent. "I think Iolo had a little more fun than I did, though."

Suralinda does look up at that, eyes narrowing. "Do I need to hurt him?"

"Please don't," Karé says, and her bedframe creaks as she flops full-body onto the mattress. She lands on her belly and looks over at Suralinda across the room. "We had sex."

Suralinda tucks her hair back and puts her stylus down. "Like... sex sex?" 

Karé nods, her hair mussed in its braids. Her cheeks are pink against the pillow. "Yeah. Twice."

"Wow." Pushing her textbook holos aside, Suralinda pulls her knees up to her chest, hugs her legs. "In his room?" 

"No, in the mess hall," Karé says, and snorts. "Yeah, in his room. Once on the bed and once on the floor."

Suralinda wrinkles her nose. "Really? The floor?" It's hard for her to imagine Karé doing much of anything on the floor.

"Well." Karé rolls over so that she's facing Suralinda, but still hugging the pillow to her chest. "We _started_ that time on the bed, too."

"That sounds... energetic," Suralinda laughs. 

Karé smiles. "He's just so _tall_."

Suralinda nods. Iolo's one of the tallest cadets in their year, although he's not that much taller than she is. "So it was good?"

"It was okay," Karé says. "I think it'll get better. But it was like, that wasn't the point. I just... I wanted to be with him. I love him."

Suralinda leans her chin on her knees and watches Karé fiddle with her braids. She's still smiling, absently, like she might not even realize she's doing it. Suralinda chews the inside of her cheek. "I'm glad for you." 

"Thanks." Karé sits up and starts to pull off her uniform to change into pajamas. There are mouth-shaped bruises on her neck, ringing the soft space just above her clavicle where the purple marks will be _just_ hidden by their uniforms' high collars.

"You know," Karé says, muffled by her shirt, "It was a little, like... it turns out it's not just Keshians' eyes that are different from humans."

Suralinda giggles, caught off guard. "Are you going to share with the class, then, Cadet Kun?"

"It's just a funny shape," Karé says, and she unhooks her bra. There's a purple mark on her right breast, too, and it makes Suralinda clench her hands in the blankets and look away, towards the poster on the wall of a Z-class headhunter. Poe got her that last time he was off-world. At a Classic Ship Show with L'ulo L'ampar.

"Funny like funny-looking, or funny like... weird," Suralinda asks, still looking at the wall. Karé is digging through her trunk for pajamas. 

"They're all weird. " Karé wriggles into an oversize T-shirt that probably used to be Iolo's, judging by how long it hangs on her brown thighs. "Every species' bits are weird."

Suralinda squeezes her legs tighter together and huffs. At least most species have something to _compare_ themselves to. She wouldn't know if she's weird or not. 

"But I wouldn't care how weird it is," Karé decides, and she slides back under her sheets. "As long as it's attached to Iolo, I'm okay with it."

"But it's not like — it worked, obviously," Suralinda points out. 

"Yeah, it worked just fine. Pretty normal, I think. I don't have anything to judge him against." Karé yawns. "But it was mostly how I've heard the other girls talk about it."

Suralinda uncurls herself carefully, pulling her own covers up and sliding down in her bed. She wants to keep asking questions, but she isn't sure what to ask, and Karé seems sleepy anyway. "Well, congratulations.” 

"You'll get there," Karé says, sounding sleepy. The lights turn themselves off, a last warning to be in bed — alone — and get to sleep. "Poe really likes you."

Suralinda stares into the darkness. She'd protest it, usually, shove at Karé's elbow over the lunch table or step on her foot as they do exercises in the gymnasium, but. "Do you really think so?" 

"That he likes you? Everyone knows that, Sur. Don't even need big Keshian eyes to see it." 

Suralinda frowns. "No, I meant — that we'll get there." She doesn't doubt Poe's feelings, it's the one thing she's relatively sure of. 

The faint emergency lights gleam off Karé's open eyes. "Do you want to? Get there?"

Suralinda thinks of Poe's careful fingers rerouting the wires in her battery project, the way his cheeks flush when she brushes leans in close to read something over his shoulder. The warmth of his hands on her thighs the time he gave her a piggyback ride back to the mess hall. "Yeah," she says, and it feels like the dark swallows it up. "Yeah."

Something about Karé's question itches at her, though. "Does he — I know you talk, does he think I _don't_?"

"I mean..." Karé trails off into the darkness. "You've never said you did. To him, I mean. He really — all he really said was that you were real firm that he can never kiss you."

"Because I have _venom in my teeth_ ," Suralinda says, and hates the way her fangs make the angry words into a hiss. "It's not exactly — it's not just a funny-looking dick sort of situation.”

"So he can't kiss your mouth," Karé says. "What about your neck? Or your cheeks? Or your like, pussy?"

Suralinda flushes, suddenly grateful it's dark. "Pfask, Karé." 

"I mean, I bet he wants to," Karé says. "I just... I think you need to give him some crumbs, if you're serious about being with him. And if you're not, then I think you need to let him go so it hurts him less."

"I don't want to hurt him," Suralinda says, quietly. "I just don't — I don't know if we _can_ do those things, or if I'll just... really hurt him. Not just his feelings."

Karé is quiet for so long that Suralinda has to assume she's fallen asleep, exhausted by her two rounds of acrobatic floor-sex with Iolo's funny-looking Keshian dick.

"Isn't there any way to find that out?" Karé asks, finally. "There've gotta be ways that you two can get together without... poisoning him."

Suralinda shrugs, useless in the dark. “Maybe? Ugh.” She turns over on her side, reaching her hand across the space between their bunks. Karé’s fingers bump hers immediately, fingertip to fingertip. “You shouldn’t be worrying about me,” Suralinda says. “I’m really happy for you and Iolo.” 

"Thanks," Karé says, and she sounds — bubbly, which is unusual for her. At least around most people. "So am I."

Suralinda grins and they hold fingertips for another moment. "You washed your hands, right?"

Karé hesitates to answer, and Suralinda groans and wrenches her hand back. 

"I'm kidding, I did!" Karé says, laughing. "We took a shower together."

"Thank the force," Suralinda sighs. She wonders sleepily if she and Poe could do that. She's seen him straight out of the fresher, hair curling and wet, eyelashes heavy with water. It's a nice thought to fall asleep to.

* * *

Suralinda doesn't have a chance to see Poe alone for another two days: they're all prepping for the NRSPEs and the NRSSAs and all of the other tests with acronyms that run together as their class prepares to winnow down from 'forty wannabe pilots' to 'ten starship pilots, twenty cargo-and-transit runners, and ten people who wasted their teens.'

Neither Poe nor Suralinda will be in the last group. Poe has starship piloting written into every line of his genetic code, Suralinda thinks. 

When they do have an evening free, he invites her to his dormitory on the pretense of studying N-dimensional calc. Muran leaves just as she shows up, so everyone in their dormitory knows it's a ruse. Suralinda can't help looking at the dusty duranoleum floor and twinging inside as she thinks about Karé and Iolo rolling around on the floor in the room next door, naked and sweaty and _kissing_.

Poe is fussing with his hair as he opens the door. "Hey," he grins, "come on in." 

His bed is made neatly, and there's a plate of the thumb-sized peelable lumquat fruit that the cafeteria served at lunch, and cookies that still give off heat. He must've charmed the cooks again. 

Suralinda raises her holotext — "I brought this," she says, feeling silly. "I didn't know if you were serious or — "

Poe's eyes are big and innocent. "We can study if you want. I finished the problem set, so I can help you if you — I mean, I know you don't need my help, but if you wanted."

Suralinda chews the inside of her cheek and thinks about Karé's voice in the dark. _You have to throw him some crumbs_. She sets her pad down on Poe's trunk and shrugs. "Do you have a better idea?"

"I got the new season of _Las Leyendas de los Gedi_ ," Poe offers. "I can play it dubbed in Basic."

Suralinda nods. "Cool. You'll have to catch me up, I haven’t watched in a while." 

"Okay." Poe smiles at her and pulls out his desk chair, offering it to her with a gallant sweep of his arm.

Suralinda sits down on the bed instead. She smiles at Poe, at the way his blankets are drenched in the smell of him.

"Is this okay?" She asks, lightly. "I won't bite."

Poe beams. "Yeah." His voice cracks. "Yeah, I was hoping — I mean, I didn't want to assume anything. Not that it means anything if you sit there. It's easier to see the holoprojection anyway. Um, have a cookie while I set it up?"

Suralinda nods, shuffling Poe's pillow against the wall to lean against and grabbing a cookie. Poe is fussing with the projector of his training droid more than seems strictly necessary, and he smells nervous. It makes Suralinda relax slightly, knowing he's gone off-balance too. 

She nibbles on the edge of the cookie, its lacy brown crust shattering under her teeth.

"Okay," Poe says, finally, rubbing the back of his neck as he comes back to the bed. He's careful not to touch her as he sits down.

"Okay," Suralinda agrees. The warmth of his side and his thigh and his arm buzzes like an engine priming, the individual lovely tiny softsoftsoft hairs on his arm each tingling through the narrow space between his forearm and hers.

"I'm still working on the voice controls," Poe admits, "um, _Beebee-Ate_ , play?" 

[Confirm, Friend-Cadet-Poe!] The droid tips one way and then the other, then finds its balance and blue light beams from its holoprojector.

"Good job," Poe says, pleased, "thanks, Beebee." 

The droid wobbles again in a happy way, then seems to remember that it's playing a holo and stabilizes on its gyro.

Suralinda takes a breath and leans into Poe's shoulder, watching the holo studiedly. 

Poe's heartbeat increases. His muscles tighten, soft and fragile. He holds his breath, a little sip through his nose and then nothing.

"Is this okay?" Suralinda whispers, still not turning her head.

"Yeah," Poe murmurs, and finally exhales. The air leaving him is warm and smells like mint.

They sit very still for another five minutes before Suralinda says, "You can touch me, too, you know." 

She listens to the sound of Poe swallowing, a harsh _pop_ of sound inside his throat. "Are you sure?"

Suralinda can't help bristling slightly, her cranial ridge throbbing once. "I wouldn't say it if I weren't."

Poe touches her knee with his, gingerly. "I just wanted to be sure," he says, quietly. "And that it was... that you wanted me to, not just 'cause you thought I wanted to." He clears his throat once, voice cracking. “Like, um, last time, because you — I know you don’t want to kiss me.”

"I didn’t say I didn’t want to," Suralinda says. “We _can’t_ kiss. But if you want to do other things — ”

Poe blinks. "I _do_ want to," he says, breathlessly. "I just want to do whatever with you, even if that’s just hanging out, or… you know." 

It's Suralinda's turn to swallow, sour venom just barely making itself known against the taste of the cookie mush in her mouth.

She pushes her knee into Poe's and watches the holo. He's so warm it makes her skin-plates prickle, her stomach strangely unsettled. 

She jumps when Poe's fingertips touch the back of her wrist, soft as silkspiders, rubbing featherlight circles against the seam of two skin-plates. Somehow she can feel that tiny, gentle touch more than she ever notices blows landing during sparring practice or the intense loss of gravity during centrifugal force training. She can't pay attention to the holo: Poe's fingers are on her, and they're so warm, and he's tracing the place where her skin-plates meet like he could get inside and warm her up there, where her softskin is, like he could heat up her blood. She knows that compared to Poe — compared to Karé, or Jessika, or the other girls — in their class, she's cold. Her skin doesn't give under gentle fingertips, she doesn't go over all gooseflesh. And her fangs spit venom.

"Still okay?" Poe's turned his face to whisper into the hair just above the ridge of her ear. 

It's Suralinda's turn to hold her breath. The _smell_ of him is just so strong, pheromones dancing. She nods.

His fingertips have slid up her forearm to the inside of her elbow, and Suralinda closes her eyes for a moment. It's not ticklish, exactly, but there's something fluttering in her chest at how tenderly he's touching her. 

“You're so smooth," Poe murmurs. His face heats up and _glows_. "Sorry, is that rude?"

Suralinda grins. "I don't care. Is it a good thing?" 

Poe nods. "I like it. It's like... you're just... you're so beautiful." He sounds awed.

"Thanks." Suralinda doesn't know how to explain how she feels about him: he's nice to look at, he always is, but right now the feelings in her stomach have more to do with what her other senses are picking up: the heat vibrating off him, the sharpness of his smell. The thunder of his pulse. "You're — soft," she decides. "It's good." 

Poe's cheek tics. "As long as it's good, I guess." His voice is still quiet, like he's afraid of speaking too loudly. Like it might make her push him away.

"Human," Suralinda explains. "I like it." She glances over at him. "I like you."

She can feel Poe smile. "I really like you," he offers.

"I know." Suralinda moves her hand from the space on the mattress between them, lays it on his leg. 

She can feel his pulse in the big vein of his thigh, all that warm blood rushing. 

"Uh," Poe says, drawing it out a little. "Maybe — don't — " 

Suralinda's hand shoots back into her own lap. She knots her fingers together. "I'm sorry!"

"No, hey," Poe looks apologetic and pink. "I just meant — if we're really gonna watch the holo, then. It was getting sort of embarrassing for me. I'm really easy for you, apparently." 

Suralinda thinks of Karé covered in the scent of Iolo, her body spotted all over with purple marks in the shape of his mouth. 

"We don't have to watch the holo," Suralinda whispers. It's almost too quiet to hear, but the words whistle against her fangs.

Poe doesn't react, and she thinks maybe she'll have to say it again — wonders if she _can_ repeat it — when he turns his body into hers, his mouth at her neck, just below her ear. "Don't get mad, but I'm gonna ask you again, just 'cause — really?" 

"Don't — we can't kiss," Suralinda says, trying to sound authoritative. She thinks she's probably failing. "And you can't — don't touch any of my, uh, fluids. I don't sweat, though, so my... my skin is okay."

Poe's hand is on her arm, and he nods, breath hot against the delicate shell of her ear. "Are we, um. Doing things that involve fluids?" 

"I don't know, I just meant... that I don't want to hurt you."

"Sorry, I wasn't... I didn't mean to assume anything." Poe draws back a little, looking sheepish. 

"Me, neither," Suralinda adds quickly. "I mean, we can't have... real... sex, anyway, so if you don't want that kind of relationship with me, then I get it. I get it."

Poe gently tugs Suralinda's hand out of her lap and pushes his fingers through hers. "I don't really care about the sex stuff," he says. "I mean, it would be nice, but. I like you a lot, and I care about you. I told you, I just want to do what you're comfortable with." 

"That doesn't feel fair to you," Suralinda says. "You're human, humans like sex. Look at the holo!" She gestures, and sure enough the two leads are kissing, tongues flicking, clothes falling by the wayside.

"Not all humans," Poe shrugs. "Anyway, you said we could still do some stuff, right? There's got to be some kind of happy medium."

Suralinda nods and bites her own lip. Poe squeezes her hand and scrambles off the bed. He busies himself with moving the fruit slices off the bed and into the mini-conservator in the corner, shoving some of Muran's protein drinks into the corner to make room.

"Maybe we can just watch each other?" Suralinda proposes, and winces at how business-like she sounds. 

Poe's back goes ramrod straight at that. His head turns to look at her. "Right now?"

Suralinda flushes, a weird sensation across the skin-plates of her face. "Is that... weird?" 

Poe's head shakes fast. "No! No, I don't think — I don't think it's weird. It just seems... it seems fast."

"Oh." Suralinda looks away. "What were you thinking?" The slick in her underwear feels weird and foreign, more uncomfortable than exciting, now that Poe is looking at her. 

Poe shrugs, his mouth open. His teeth are so small and crooked and cute. Flat-edged teeth like a chaakrabbit. 

She's endeared in spite of her wrong-footedness, but it doesn't make the words easier to find for what she wants to say. 

"I'd like to see you," she tries. "If you're okay with that."

Poe’s mouth is still open enough that she can see the pink of his tongue behind the white of his teeth. "I wasn't saying that I _didn't_ want to see you," he says, his voice coming out haltingly. 

Suralinda nods. "I'm offering."

Poe comes back over to the bed, walking stiffly. "Linda — " he tries, and then stops, chewing his lip. 

"What?"

"I don't think this is the best idea," Poe says, slowly, scuffing his socked toe at the foot of his cot. 

Suralinda feels like she's been splashed with cold water, all of her skin-plates contracting together in self-protection. 

"I just mean it feels really fast to me!" Poe shoves his hands in his pockets and then immediately takes them out again and sits down on the edge of the mattress. "I really want to do things with you, I just want to take it a little slower." 

Suralinda laughs drily. "What exactly do you want to do? You can't kiss me, so… this was a mistake." 

"Suralinda," Poe breathes, reaching for her hand. "No, come on, please."

Suralinda's hand closes up into a tight fist, but Poe covers the back of her hand with his palm and it's as warm as always, as soft, the blood pulsing in fragile flutters under the surface.

"I want to spend time with you," Poe says, quietly. " _More_ time." 

"You're not going to be able to _romance_ me any more in a week than you can now." Suralinda doesn't relax her hand. She doesn't look at Poe or his little round droid or at the way he tried to neaten the room for her to visit. She stares through the blue projection of the holo, the leads still writhing together in a blob of too-soft human skin.

"That would be true even if you were human," Poe points out. "And I'd still want us to take our time."

Suralinda keeps looking determinedly through blue blur to the wall beyond. There's a big poster of Greer Sonnel in her racing gear stuck up with stickyplast, and somehow Suralinda can't imagine Poe telling _her_ to keep her clothes on. To _take it slow_. 

“Linda,” Poe says, and squeezes her hand. “Please talk to me?” His pulse is shallow and fast, beneath his thin human skin.

"I just... can't be what you want," Suralinda says. "I can't be — sweet and soft and human."

Poe frowns, an ugly line across his face, and his chin quivers. He takes his hand away. "I don't think it's fair that you're assuming what I want."

Suralinda runs the split of her tongue over one of her fangs behind her lips. She stands. "I should go."

She can hear his teeth grind as he clenches his jaw and smell the sodium of the tears welling before they even fall. He shouldn't get to be this upset, when he was the one who didn't want to — _that's_ not fair. 

"Linda," he says, "Please?" 

Suralinda stops before she gets her boots back on. She closes her eyes, a habit she's picked up from being around all of these _humans_ — it doesn't make a difference for her, not when she can sense and smell exactly where Poe is in the room, still sitting on the bed behind her. 

"I really like you," Poe says, quietly. 

"I know," Suralinda says. "That's not the problem."

"The problem is me not wanting to get naked the very first time we do something?" 

(No, Suralinda thinks, the problem is you thinking that _is_ the only problem.)

"I'm not... built for romance," Suralinda says. "I mean, I'm literally not built for what you want out of a relationship. I can't _snuggle_ and _go slow_ and _make love_."

Poe rubs at his eyes viciously. "I told you, I don't even care if we have sex, you're the one who's making it about sex." He doesn't sound accusatory so much as just sad. "And I can so snuggle you."

"Well, what else do you — of course it's about sex! Otherwise... otherwise, what's the difference between dating and just being friends?"

Poe swallows, a hurt wet sound in the back of his throat. "My mom couldn't leave her chair for the last year of her life, and my dad still loved her exactly the same as he did when they were younger. You don't — you don't _need_ that stuff if you really care about each other." Something has shifted in his face when he looks up at her again. "Maybe you should go." 

Something aches in Suralinda's chest. She's never seen that look on Poe's face. Not Poe. She's seen that look before, the look that reminds her that no matter what she does, she doesn't quite fit in with her classmates, with the people on the street, with everyone else in the Galaxy. Poe has never looked at her that way before. Like he's disappointed that she doesn't just look different, she _is_.

For the first time, the little droid in the middle of Poe's bedroom floor burbles something. 

"Yeah," Poe says. "You can shut it off, Beebee." 

The blue of the holo flickers and goes dim. 

"I'm sorry I led you on," Suralinda manages to say. Her voice is low and gravelly, for some reason. She can't quite look at Poe. 

"I don't think," Poe says, and shakes his head. "I don't think that." _His_ voice sounds watery, and Suralinda is struck with the intense certainty that he's going to start crying. She can't be there for that. 

"Okay," she says. She doesn't bother putting her boots on. Kriff demerits. She just picks them up and turns the doorknob. "I'll, um. I guess I'll see you in class."

Poe just nods. He isn't looking at her anymore, just staring at his feet hanging off the side of the bed. His droid is bumping against his knees nervously. 

Suralinda bites her lips together between her flat-teeth all the way down the hall and back to her room. The floor is so cold under her feet that she piles under the blankets once she's back to her bunk.

Karé isn't there, which she can only be grateful for. Suralinda doesn't quite cry, but her face aches, and her skin-plates feel hot and itchy. 

She can't get warm enough, even with all of the blankets wrapped around her like a cocoon. 

Poe's sweatshirt is still draped across the back of her desk chair from the night they went off-campus, out wandering the Hosnian streets with Karé and Iolo and Muran, buffeted by lunar wind.

She doesn't put it on.

She isn't sure how much time has passed when Karé comes in, turning on the light and making her hiss. 

"Sorry!" Karé laughs, and then immediately sobers, seeing Suralinda's blanket nest. "Hey," she says, then sits down on the foot of Suralinda's bed. "I thought... I ran into Poe and he gave me your N-calc book. You left it in his room." She pauses. "I guess it wasn't because you were, you know. Distracted."

Suralinda tucks her legs up closer to her chest and shakes her head in the negative. The cold has sunk into her core and she feels sleepy with it, too tired to move. 

Karé's hand makes the barest dent in the pile of blankets as she starts to stroke over the lump of Suralinda's shoulder. "What happened?"

"I fucked it up." Suralinda lets herself be petted softly and tries not to enjoy how the warmth immediately eases the tension in her spine. 

"I doubt that," Karé says, as gentle as her hand.

"You didn't see his face." Suralinda can see it every time she closes her eyes, and it makes her want to puke, bile rising sourer than her venom for once. 

Karé is very quiet. "What happened?"

"We were... cuddling," Suralinda says, grudgingly, "and we talked and he said he — liked me, and I said we could do stuff, and he didn't want to." 

"That doesn't sound like you've ruined anything," Karé says. "It just sounds like you have to talk it through."

"No, it's... he doesn't want what I can give him," Suralinda says. "He wants things that I just can't be. He wants — he mentioned his _parents_. His _mom_."

"Of course Poe wants that," Karé snorts. "He's a romantic, Sur. You knew that." She squeezes Suralinda's shoulder. "But what sort of things does he want that you can't be?" 

Karé won't understand. She's like Poe, even Iolo is like Poe. They're all... fragile. They're compatible and soft, full of ooze and blood and breakable bones. 

"Suralinda." Karé gives her a little shake. "Come on, what's really going on?"

"He wants some kind of telenovela romantic fairytale!" Suralinda finally sits up. "With kissing and cuddling and — sex. And I can't _do_ that, so when I offered what I _can_ give him, he said no."

Karé looks wary. "What exactly did you offer him?" 

"I mean, I can't touch _him_ ," Suralinda says, miserably, "So I said we could just watch each other touch ourselves."

"And he said... no, or not now?" Karé's voice is tentatively probing. 

Suralinda tries to think. She hadn't really — she didn't _ask_ that.

Karé looks sympathetic. "You know how Poe is, he probably wanted to take things slow.”

"But I _can't_." That's exactly what Poe had said, that he thought it was too fast. "I can't do the stupid boloball metaphor, going around the octet. We can't kiss. We can't — I can't give him a blowjob. He can't, you know... fingers, or — "

"Okay, whoa." Karé holds up her hands, shaking her head. "You can't kiss on the _mouth_. You could probably like, kiss his neck, right? Closed-mouth can still be sexy, Javos." She folds over one finger, then the next, like she's counting off. "Also, so you can't blow him? You've got two hands, and unless you've been holding out on me, they're perfectly safe." Karé tucks another finger down against her palm. "And, you live in Hosnian Prime. Do you know how many specialty shops there are here? I'm willing to bet you can find something that could work for both of you without getting bodily fluids anywhere dangerous."

Suralinda shakes her head. "That's not what he wants."

Karé narrows her eyes. "Did he _say_ that?"

Suralinda rests her chin on her forearms, curled around her knees. "He didn't have to. It's obvious. You know Poe, you know how he is."

Karé doesn't look convinced. "Yeah, I know Poe, and I know he's completely in love with you. Maybe he doesn't feel ready to start testing out toys _today_ , but I can't imagine he wouldn't want to at some point in the future." 

"I can't give him a house on Yavin IV and lots of babies," Suralinda mumbles. "You know that's what he really wants. Maybe even more than flying."

"Why not?" Karé cocks her head at Suralinda. "Yavin IV is nice, and adoption is a thing, Suralinda." 

Of course it is: that was Suralinda, that was her life, that was her family. She knows how it feels to be part of a family who look completely different, who can't kiss her goodnight or help her brush her teeth or share a frozen cream cone, who always have to explain _her homeworld was destroyed by the Empire, she's lucky someone found her_. Suralinda's adoptive parents loved her and have supported her a lot, but she doesn't think they were prepared for her, really.

Karé inhales and makes a face. "I know you said that you can't give Poe what he wants, but it sort of sounds like maybe Poe isn't what _you_ want, Sur." She hurries on, "Because none of what I'm hearing is something the two of you couldn't figure out, if you both wanted to." 

"I just think he's not taking it seriously," Suralinda says, lifting her chin. She does want Poe; of course she does, that's not — that's not the _point_. "He's so used to everything coming easily and being perfect for him. And I just keep trying to tell him that it's not that I don't... it really isn't that I don't want those things, it's just _not possible_ and he isn't listening."

Karé is quiet for several seconds. "Okay, I'm listening. Explain to me why the house on Yavin with a bunch of kids won't work, Sur." 

"Because — because I wouldn't be able to kiss them, either," she says. "Or whatever, I haven't even decided whether I want kids anyway. I'm never going to be Shara Bey."

"Well, I'd hope not," Karé smiles. "You're Suralinda Javos. One of my best friends." She pauses. "And if you haven't decided about kids yet, that's perfectly acceptable, obviously. But if you're just... scared of not being able to show hypothetical children affection, that's sort of. A different issue, I think."

"It's not the point," Suralinda agrees in a mumble. "The point is — the point is that I think Poe is underestimating how... I don't know."

Karé wraps an arm around Suralinda’s shoulders and gives her a squeeze. “Maybe you need to figure that out first, and then try talking to him again.”

Suralinda looks down at her hands. Somehow it's so much easier to let Karé touch her than it is to let Poe do the same thing. Karé has her arm around Suralinda's shoulders like it's nothing, and it _is_. They do this all the time. It's something Suralinda knows how to do.

"Seriously though," Karé says. "You do need to tell me if your hands are secretly dangerous too." 

"No more than yours," Suralinda says. She's seen Karé's right hook.

"Alright then." Karé shoves her way fully onto Suralinda's cot, taking the wall-side and stretching her legs out, still holding Suralinda. 

Suralinda stares at the ceiling, trying again and again to swallow away the strange tight-itchy feeling in the back of her throat and up her sinuses into the space behind her eyes.

She could have spent the night lying like this with Poe, maybe. Maybe that would have been okay.

Karé leans her head against the top of Suralinda's, almost as if she can tell what she's thinking. "Poe really cares about you," she says, quietly. "I think he'd listen if you tried to talk to him again."

"I wouldn't blame him if he didn't." Suralinda blinks at the ceiling. "And maybe it's better if I don't."

"I'm not going to try to convince you to do something you don't want to," Karé shrugs. "I'm here, no matter what."

"I want Poe," Suralinda admits, in a whisper. 

Karé pets her hair, and hums softly, not pushing. They fall asleep eventually, Suralinda lulled by the warmth of Karé's arms.

* * *

The mess hall is open standard hours even on a rest day, so Suralinda and Karé have to drag themselves across the quad earlier than they would prefer. Suralinda feels strangely wrung-out and empty inside, like the time she bruised her thoracic cartilage hitting the console of her podracer. She wants to wear Poe's sweatshirt against the chill in the breeze between buildings, but she doesn't. She doesn't quite feel like she has that right anymore.

Muran and Poe are already seated at one of the tables closest to the big caf pots and pitchers of blue milk. Karé glances at Suralinda and inclines her head slightly. "You wanna sit somewhere else?"

Suralinda shakes her head. "It's not your fault, or Muran's or Iolo's."

Karé gives her a skeptical glance, but steers towards the empty seats at the boys' table. She takes the seat next to Poe before it can become awkward.

Poe's eyes are red-rimmed and swollen. He smells... off.

Muran doesn't quite stiffen when Suralinda sits next to him, but something in his posture changes. He has to know. 

"Good morning, boys," Karé says with forced cheer. "What are your plans for today?"

"I was thinking I'd go out for lunch," Muran says. "But Poe said he has to study." 

"Study?" Iolo drops into the seat on Karé's other side and kisses her cheek, but leans forward on the table to grin across her at Poe. "I thought you and Suralinda _studied_ last night!" 

Poe looks down into his bowl of cereal and drags the spoon across the bottom. Suralinda looks out the window.

Iolo jolts as if he's been kneed under the table, and shoots Karé a betrayed look. 

"Maybe the rest of you want to come with?" Muran asks, hopefully. He even smiles at Suralinda.  
"We'll go," Iolo says, cocking his head to indicate Karé. "I think they just opened a new herbivore place near that one building that looks like a wookiee dong."

Muran grimaces. "How do you know what a — kriff." 

Suralinda can't quite laugh, because when she glances up from her plate, Poe isn't laughing, either. He doesn't look right this sad. She's never seen him without his eyes smiling.

"What do you think, Suralinda?" Karé is smiling at her, but there's a prompting edge to it. "A new herbivore place could be fun." 

"I — I don't know," Suralinda says. "I guess I could come."

Muran opens his hands, wide across the table. "See, Poe? Sur's coming!" 

"I have homework," Poe mumbles. "And I haven't sent my dad a holo in a while."

Suralinda flinches. She can only imagine what Poe will tell his father about her.

* * *

She doesn’t see Poe again for the rest of the weekend. He didn’t even come to the mess hall for meals. By the time Benduday rolls around and they’re scheduled to share a desk, Suralinda isn't hiding near the water fountain, exactly, but she is absolutely loitering there as she considers skipping roboengineering lab altogether.

Poe comes down the hall just as their teacher appears at the other end. He’s never this late — but neither is she, except for today. 

His eyes aren't puffy anymore, but he still looks slightly wan. His hair isn't as neat, the curls not arranged so perfectly around his face, and he's lost the spring in his step that always makes Suralinda smile. She always gets butterflies in her stomach looking at Poe, but today she just feels a twinge of regret.

"Hey, Suralinda," he says, and his lips sort of twitch upwards like he's _trying_. 

Poe shifts his class work under his arm. "Um, Sola said she would trade workstations with me today, if you wanted." 

That brings that itchy feeling back behind Suralinda's eyes. She swallows again, trying to relieve the pressure in her head. "I — okay. If that's what you want."

Poe keeps his chin up high. "It's up to you." He walks into the classroom, towards the desk they've shared since the beginning of the semester. 

That's — unfair. 

That isn’t fair. It’s not, Suralinda thinks, because this isn’t all down to her. She shouldn’t have to be the one who decides whether they can be around each other and be normal. The whole problem started with Suralinda being unsure of what Poe expects from her, and now — he expects her to choose whether they're even — whether they're even _friends_ , whether they're _civil_ around each other.

She straightens her shoulders and steps into class just ahead of their teacher. Poe is standing awkwardly by their work station, and at the table next to theirs, Sola is giving Suralinda a sympathetic glance. Her partner, though, is watching Poe. 

Suralinda clenches her jaw, lips peeling back just enough to flash her fangs.

She sits down in her usual seat and looks straight ahead.

Poe sits down next to her. He smells nervous. 

Colonel Neelex comes into the room and soon enough, everyone has settled into the humdrum of her droning voice labeling out the diagram of a B1's circuitry, each node lit up in turn on the holoprojection at the front of the room.

Suralinda tries to focus on what she's saying, but B1s have been obsolete since before even Neelex was born. The Galaxy is at peace. They'll never need battle droids.

A piece of folded flimsi slides across their lab table.

Suralinda ignores it, although her fingers feel suddenly heavy and unpracticed holding her flimsi pencil and making notes on the diagram spread in front of her. 

Poe's scent changes beside her, ever so slightly, his heart rate increasing the longer she doesn't touch the small, folded piece of scrap.

Suralinda reaches over and slides it off the table into her lap, and then puts both her hands back on the table top, jots down the notes the Colonel has on the board now.

She can hear Poe's throat work beside her, a small pop, a faint gurgle.

_Hey._

Poe's handwriting is small and pointed and neater than it has any right to be.

Suralinda shoots him a withering look.

Poe's eyes go big and soft, innocent. 

Sighing, Suralinda eases the flimsi back to the table top, and scrawls out a quick _what_.

There's a pause as Poe's stylus scratches something back. _Are you OK?_

Suralinda takes the flimsi back and looks at it for a long time. _No_ , she writes back, and then before Poe can take the piece of paper, she adds, _this sucks_. 

She chances a glance at Poe in the corner of her eye, and the tips of his ears are red.

_I know_ , he writes back. She watches his hand move, this time, so he doesn't have to slide the paper back. 

He shivers when her nails brush his knuckles taking the paper again.

She doesn't know what to say. It does suck, but she's not going to apologize. She isn't sure what it'd be apologizing for.

When it's clear she isn't going to add anything, Poe takes the flimsi back, and bends over it for a moment, face crinkly with concentrated. He passes it to Suralinda.

_Can we talk later? Please?_

Suralinda hesitates, rubs the cleft of her tongue over the tip of her fang.

_OK_.

"Thank you," Poe mouthes, and chews his lip, watching her. 

Suralinda nods once, curtly, and looks back to Colonel Neelex at the front of the room before they're caught whispering.

* * *

After class, Poe is waiting for her just outside the classroom door.

"Can I — can I carry your books?" he asks, his weight shifting from foot to foot.

Suralinda nods and passes them over. She almost immediately regrets it when she has nothing left to do with her hands.

They walk slowly towards the dormitories, other students rushing past them all chattering. A few astromech droids beep politely as they swerve around Poe- and Suralinda's knees.

"I'm really sorry," Poe says, as they get to the corner of Suralinda's building. "About the other night, and if you thought — " He pauses, corrects himself. "If I made it seem like I wasn't listening to you."

Oh.

That's not what she was expecting him to say.

"I — thank you," she says. She look from Poe to the dormitory door. "Do you want to come in? If Karé has Iolo in the room we can just sit in the commons."

Poe grins briefly. "If Karé has Iolo in your room, being in the commons won't be far enough away." He ducks his head. "Not that Muran and I have ever experienced that before." 

Suralinda snorts. "That's true." The maglock slides open and they ride the turbolift up to her floor. There aren't any strange noises coming through the door, so Suralinda opens it and gestures Poe inside.

"Thanks." Poe stands in the center of the floor and looks determined. "I'm really sorry if I hurt you, Linda, I was... embarrassed, but I shouldn't have made you feel bad just because I did."

Suralinda blinks. They're both still standing in the middle of the room, neither making a move to sit down anywhere. "What?"

Poe looks upset, and shifts the weight of the textpads and flimsi journals in his arms. "I know that it's really different for you to be with someone human, and I was being selfish and not thinking about how difficult it must be for you to have to, um, navigate that, but I want to listen to your side of it, because I really do care about you." 

He inhales deeply at the end of all that, and looks nervous.

Suralinda blinks. "Did you talk to Iolo?"

"Well," Poe says, "I sort of talked to a lot of people?" He ducks his head. "My dad, mostly."

Suralinda hasn't met Poe's father, but she's seen the holos of him holding Shara Bey, back when she was alive, both of them smiling like there was nowhere they'd rather be than together.

"Oh," she says, lightly, and sits down on the edge of the bed, feeling oddly light-headed. The ache in her face-plates has returned. 

"And, um, he... he told me that it sounded like — like maybe we were having two different conversations," Poe says. "At the same time." Poe clears his throat and presses on. "Because I wasn't listening to you, and giving you time to really explain what was going on."

Suralinda looks down at the floor, then back up at Poe. She flaps one hand towards the desk chair on her side of the room. "Sit."

He collapses in the chair, the stack of school supplies still in his lap, fingertips playing with the edge of Suralinda's datapad. 

"What did you think we were talking about?" Suralinda asks. 

Poe makes a face. "I thought we were talking about... you wanted to start doing sex stuff right away, and I didn't feel ready." 

Suralinda nods. "I'm sorry I pressured you."

He's red all down his throat and chest too, from the peek of it at his open collar, and looks mortified. "It's really okay, I feel dumb about it."

"Don't," Suralinda says. "Don't feel dumb about it. I was being pushy."

"I do _want_ to, with you, at some point," Poe says quietly. "It just felt like a whole lot at one time."

"I just don't know what else I can offer you," Suralinda says. She can't quite look at Poe. 

Poe is quiet — waiting for her to say more, she realizes. But when she doesn't, he clears his throat. "Well, this. Talking. Just hanging out with you is pretty great. And I'd like — holding hands is nice. And cuddling." 

"But we do all that anyway," Suralinda says. "I do those things with Karé, even."

"Isn't that — that's enough, for me, Suralinda." 

"But then what's the difference?" She looks up. "What's the difference between — that's not being your girlfriend, then, that's just being another one of your friends who's a girl."

"That I feel differently about you," Poe says, blinking. 

"But then it's not fair to you," Suralinda says. "It's not fair to ask you to be with... I don't know how to say it without making you mad again."

"I won't get mad." Poe's face is entirely serious. "Linda, I promise. I wanna listen."

Suralinda shakes her head and pulls her knees up to sit cross-legged on the mattress, feet tucked under her thighs. "I've never seen a Squamatan couple," she offers. "I only know what humans do."

Poe nods. "That sucks. Do you — are there, uh, like... records, or... can we research that?”

"It wouldn't matter, really," Suralinda says. "I'm venomous, Poe. I don't want to hurt you, but I don't — I want to be with you," she says, haltingly. "I want to _be with_ you. And I don't want to just feel like another one of your friends. But you're not Squamatan. And I'm not human."

Poe nods again, slower this time. "So that does... that does matter to you. About the sex stuff."

Suralinda nods, curling her toes. "Doesn't it matter to you?"

"Not the same way," Poe says, and he's being _gentle_ , like he's afraid she'll be angry. 

"Why?" Suralinda finally looks up at him, finally meets his eyes. "Why would you want to date me if you're not attracted to me?"

Poe laughs, his eyes crinkling. "I _am_ attracted to you," he says. "Linda, I'm... really into you, but I can feel that when we're just... holding hands, and it's enough. I'd rather hold hands with you than have sex with anybody else." 

He stands and crosses the room to sit on the foot of Suralinda's bed, still far away enough that he isn't crowding her, but close enough that she can just feel the soft heat emanating from him.

"I don't like feeling like I'm forcing you to make that choice," Suralinda says. "I want to make it all work."

"So we could try what you said, the other night." Poe flushes, again, somehow brighter than before. "Just maybe not right away." 

Suralinda breathes, the scent of Poe pinging on her tongue and in through her nose. "Okay."

"Okay?" Poe looks desperately hopeful.

"We can try it," Suralinda says. "But if you get... frustrated, with all the things I can't do, then tell me. And don't feel like you have to stay."

"And you have to tell me," Poe agrees. 

Suralinda nods. "I can do that."

* * *

Suralinda tries to focus on the holotext for Old Republic History, flicking across the screen of her datapad with the tip of one finger as she searches for mentions of any female starfighter pilot to write her paper on.

It isn't a good distraction. The Clone Wars lacked in female authority figures, as far as she can tell. Just a bunch of hokey dead Jedi.

Poe is late by five minutes, and Suralinda is already worrying that he's not going to show up. 

He knocks on the door so softly that she would have missed it if she weren't standing almost pressed to the cold metal, waiting, fretting about his absence. When the maglock slides open, he's just as close to the other side, his face slightly red, wearing his pajamas.

"Sorry," he says, "I wasn't sure if I should shower but then I did, and — " his hair is still damp, tousled like he's run his hands through it repeatedly. 

Suralinda nods, throat dry, and smiles at him as she steps aside so he can come in before the caretaker droids catch them. 

"How're you?" Poe says, politely, his bare feet looking pink and vulnerable against her floor.

"I'm okay," Suralinda says. "Just trying to start that Oldies essay. I've got nothing, though."

"You've got time," Poe nods. "It's due next Centaxday, right?"

Suralinda nods. "Yeah." She looks at Poe's small pink toes. "Did you start yet?"

"I've got a couple pages," Poe shrugs. 

Suralinda smiles and shakes her head, finally looking up at Poe's face. "Of course you do. Teacher's pet."

"Gotta keep my scholarship." Poe grins. He rubs his hands at his hips like he's looking for pockets and remembering he's in his pajamas. 

"Did you forget something?"

"What?" Poe looks up, cheeks red. "No, sorry."

He's so _warm_ and looks so soft in his pajamas, the shirt wrinkled and fitting looser than his uniform clothes, fabric clinging and flowing with the shape of his skin underneath.

Suralinda licks her lips and steps closer to her bed. "Do you wanna, um — "

Poe nods. He's quiet walking across the duranoleum floor, but the mattress creaks slightly when he sits down on it. It sounds louder than Suralinda knows it really was.

"I wasn't sure if I should go ahead and change or — " Suralinda gestures vaguely. "But since you are I'll go do that."

Poe nods. His adam's apple bobs. "You could — you could change in here."

Suralinda stares at him, and then laughs. "You're the one who wanted to be super romantic and go _slow_ ," she reminds him.

Poe smiles and scratches the back of his neck. "Yeah."

Suralinda's skin-plates feel tight from how wide her grin is. "Close your eyes."

Poe blinks and obeys, his dark eyelashes closing. He covers his eyes with his hands for good measure.

Suralinda gets her pajamas out of the drawer and waits a moment, watching Poe, the way his knee jiggles. She pulls her jumper and vest off, and the knit undershirt, and tugs her sleeping tee over her head quickly. It's long enough that it hangs to her thighs, and after she squirms out of her trousers she hesitates in pulling on her loose pajama bottoms. "Okay, open," she tells Poe, and lets him have long enough to register her bare legs before she starts pulling the pajamas up.

She doesn't miss his sharp intake of breath, the way his scent changes like a sudden jump to hyperspace. When she looks up at his face, his eyes are huge, shining.

"What?" She raises an eyebrow, shifts her hips as she settles the waistband of her pajamas.

"You're beautiful," Poe says. He's guileless.

"Shut up." Suralinda shakes her head, coming over to crawl onto the bed and pull her knees up to her chest. "I know I'm not like human girls."

"So?" Poe asks, and he turns to pull his feet up onto the mattress, too, sitting cross-legged to face her. "That doesn't mean you're not beautiful."

Suralinda makes a face. "Yeah, but — here, it's. _Beautiful_ looks a lot like a skinny human girl with big tits. That's what's on the posters." 

"Not on mine," Poe says, and Suralinda almost says _what is Greer Sonnel, then?_

As if he can tell, Poe shrugs, one cheek quirked up. "I mean, okay, she's beautiful, too. But she's smart and a good flier, and so are you."

"Yeah, but she has boobs." 

"I like your boobs," Poe says, stubbornly. "I mean, I — sorry, if that was rude, or — I mean, it's not like I _look_ , I mean I've... noticed, or — sorry."

"It's not rude," Suralinda says. "You just — " It's somehow harder that he's being nice about it. Nice, but clueless. 

Poe's face pulses with heat, and Suralinda wants to rest her hands on his red cheeks to soak it up. "Well. I do, then. Like your... you know."

"But I don't," Suralinda says, quietly. "I don't — not like Karé, or, or Greer Sonnel. You haven't even seen what I really look like, and — " There's a weird feeling in her stomach that she belatedly recognizes as fear: fear that once he does see he'll think she was leading him on, or trying to trick him into thinking she did.

"I don't have Muran's muscles," Poe says. "Or, I mean... I'm — just saying that everyone's different."

"There's a difference between having things that don't look the same and not — not having things to begin with," Suralinda argues.

Poe's brow furrows. "What do you mean?"

"I told you," Suralinda says, desperately. "Squamatans don't — or I don't — have... I don't have tits, like humans and Twi’leks and — and other species do." She looks away, just past his shoulder and to the wall. “I’ll never have live babies, so I don’t have… mammary glands, I guess, or — that’s all.”

Poe blinks. "Oh." He blinks again. "Well, that's ok. I don't have tits, either."

Suralinda stares at him.

Poe stares right back, steadily. "So, what — but you wear a bra anyway, with your clothes — "

She nods. "I wasn't trying to trick you."

Poe reaches across the mattress to touch her elbow, arms still tight around her knees. "I don't think that."

"I know it's weird," Suralinda says, after a minute. "I get it if it's too weird for you."

"I don't — I don't think it's weird if you don't have, I mean," Poe's words come out haltingly, "I'm not opposed to, you know. Bodies that aren't... I mean."

"Human?" Suralinda rubs at her face, wishing she could cry. It might make all this easier.

"Well, I meant, like, with boobs and a vagina and stuff, but, sure, that, too."

"Oh." Suralinda peeks over at him. "That's — good, I guess. Considering."

Poe nods, his thumb rubbing over her forearm soothingly. "Are you okay?"

Suralinda nods, and ducks her head to press her cheek to the back of his knuckles. "I guess it's better you know now, instead of just, ‘oh, hello, there's nothing there.’"

Poe nods and keeps rubbing her arm, both of them quiet.

Finally, Poe clears his throat. "When we had that fight about sex, then... what were you — like, you kept talking about doing stuff? But if you don't have any... uh..."

Suralinda blinks and then laughs so hard she has to back away from Poe, making sure his hand isn't near her mouth. "No, I — kriffing hell, Poe. I have a vagina."

"Oh!" Poe's cheeks go red again, and then he grins. "Okay. That's — good. That's good. I wouldn't mind if you didn't! But that's um, I thought you did, so... that's good."

"Yeah?" Suralinda grins, and nudges his arm. "You thought about it, huh."

"Of course I did," Poe says. His eyes are warm and gentle. "Like I said, you're beautiful."

Suralinda huffs, but leans down again into his hand on her knee, letting the warmth of his fingers seep into her skin-plates like sunshine.

Poe traces his finger along her cranial ridge, brushes hair out of her face. "So we're back where we started. I think you're beautiful." He traces the shape of her ear. "And I'm all yours tonight."

"Poe," Suralinda says, but she's already leaning into the contact like a lothcat.

Poe's fingers trail down the side of her neck. "C’mere." He shifts so that there's room for her to sit in his lap, but he doesn't pull her. He just waits, eyes half-lidded and sleepy, the smell of him sweet and sharp.

Suralinda inhales deeply and let's the scent fill her senses. It's heady and almost dizzying. She feels uncoordinated straddling his lap, but Poe's hands ease her down comfortably.

He grins at her like sunshine. "Hi."

"Hi," Suralinda whispers. She isn't sure what to do with her hands, but his shoulders look sturdy, and they feel warm under her fingers.

Poe's hands linger at her waist. "Is this okay?"

"Yeah." Suralinda shifts in his lap. "Is this — I'm not hurting you?" She can feel him, and she isn't sure if she's supposed to acknowledge it, but she doesn't want to ignore it, either.

Poe shakes his head so fast his face blurs. "No. Not at all."

"Okay." Suralinda runs her hand up his shoulder to his neck, and tugs a loose curl that's framing his ear.

Poe starts to lean in, his eyes fluttering shut, and Suralinda leans back in panic out of his reach.

"Hey," Poe says, "Suralinda, I promise, I wouldn't do that. I'm not dumb."

"What are you doing?" She asks, eyes narrowed, still leaning back and away from his face.

"I wanna kiss your neck," Poe says. "May I?"

Suralinda swallows. She's seen Iolo kiss Karé's neck, and Karé _melts_. "Okay."

She's afraid for a moment that it will be awkward, that she won't know how to hold her head, but Poe just leans in and nuzzles beneath her jaw and — Suralinda suddenly isn't too worried about how she's holding her head.

" _Oh_." If his hands are warm, his mouth is _blazing_ , almost too hot to be comfortable, like sinking into a steaming bath.

"Okay?" Poe's breath is hot too, right against her pulse.

"Yeah," Suralinda breathes. "I like that."

Poe nods, his hair brushing her chin and mouth. Suralinda reaches up to brush it out of her face, and ends up twisting a handful of hair in her fingers.

Poe's exhale stutters against her skin at that. He kisses her neck again, slower this time, his lips wet as he drags them across her skin.

He finds the cord of muscle next to her pulse and sucks — gently, like she might push him off.

Suralinda's heart beats faster at that, sour venom flooding her mouth. She swallows it back, the movement of her throat only making Poe nuzzle in closer.

His teeth are blunt and — she would have said useless, but isn't this a better use than any other?

A laugh snuffles against her neck.

"What?"

"I'm just happy," Poe murmurs. "That's all."

Suralinda feels happy too, but instead of bubbling out as laughter it's curling up in her tummy and making her feel warm all over. 

That might be Poe, too, the constant heat of him covering her, warming her up enough to make her awake and sleepy at the same time. She's _basking_ in him, and Suralinda rolls over onto her back to pull him up and on top of her just to get more.

Poe squeaks, and then makes a deeper, softer sound against her throat that reverberates. Her thigh somehow got stuck between his in the roll and she doesn't want to move it because he's _even warmer_ between his legs.

She can feel his pulse there, too, all that blood rushing. She can feel it everywhere he's touching her, the infinitesimal movement under his soft skin.

Part of her wants to open him up so she can devour him, but his tiny teeth and softsoftsoft mouth are still on her neck, the tip of his tongue tracing the sliver of her softskin between two skin-plates, and Suralinda thinks... maybe she'd rather he devour her.

She pushes her knee up a little more, and Poe gasps, but he's still attentive and focused on her neck. Suralinda isn't sure if she's grateful or annoyed by that. She wants to be sure she's affecting him as much as he's affecting her. 

One of his hands fiddles with the hem of her sleep shirt. It's ridden up around her hips anyway, tangled when she rolled them over.

"You can touch me," Suralinda says, a little surprised at how normal her voice sounds. 

Poe lifts his head, and Suralinda has to blink. His eyes are half-lidded and blown out black, cheeks flushed red, lips shiny against his white teeth. She's never seen Poe look like _this_ before. 

"You sure?"

She just nods. She is: she can't think of anything she wants more right now than Poe's hot human skin touching hers without anything in the way. 

Poe swallows, and Suralinda can't help touching his neck with the tips of her fingers to feel the muscles there move.

"But you don't have to," she adds. "I don't want to be pushy. We could study now — " 

Poe laughs again, and his eyes brighten back up to the Poe she knows. 

"I'm just saying!" Suralinda grins. "You could help me with those hyperspace calculations."

Poe bites his lip. "Is that what the Squamatans call it?"

Suralinda shoves at his arm, laughing. "Force, Poe.”

Poe laughs and pulls away from her far enough that he can peel off his own thin pajama t-shirt. 

Suralinda runs her hand up his side as he pulls the shirt off — she can almost see the heat radiating off his skin, and her fingers prickle with it. 

His skin prickles in return, tiny bumps of gooseflesh rising in the wake of her hand. His nipples prick up, too, tiny and dark.

Suralinda slides her fingertips across one of them curiously, and Poe laughs, tensing but not pulling away. "Ticklish," he explains, sheepishly. 

"Really?" Suralinda brushes the pad of her thumb over it again. "Can I ask... what are they... _for_? Since you're a boy?"

Poe shrugs, and his nipple brushes her thumb. "So I can feed our babies, I guess."

Suralinda rolls her eyes. She moves her hand to press over his sternum instead, the laughable excuse for a protective bone over his heart. It's beating fast under her palm, rhythm perfect.

"I dunno," Poe says, softer. "Maybe just so you can drive me even more crazy."

Suralinda turns her face away so she can grin towards the wall. His heart trip-hammers under her hand.

Poe takes advantage of her new angle and presses his face into the space beneath her jaw, nuzzling at her throat and shoulder until they're flat on the mattress again, his chest pressed down against hers. 

Even through her shirt, it's warmer like this. His chest is faintly sweaty, enough that Suralinda can't be sure whether Poe is even aware yet that he's starting to perspire, but she can feel the damp and salt.

She wants to lick him, which — she can't, so she keeps her face turned away and lets him kiss her throat instead. 

Poe's hands are more confident than she would have predicted when he does start to lift the hem of her top.

He only gets it halfway before it bunches — and his fingers stall, stroking the smooth lower skin-plate of her stomach.

"You don't have a bellybutton," Poe says in wonder.

"Not human," Suralinda reminds him. "We're born differently." 

Poe hums thoughtfully and shuffles down the bed. He kisses the flat blue plain of skin and Suralinda squirms, a flash of heat wetting her cunt.

It's too easy to imagine him kissing her there like he kissed her throat just a moment ago, and Suralinda inhales, tries to think about anything else.

Poe's adam's apple brushes against her skin as he swallows, the thoughts loud between them. He slides back up the mattress, dragging her shirt as he goes.

Suralinda tries not to knock his face with her elbows as she squirms her arms free, and then they're both just staring at each other, Poe's eyes very carefully not straying lower.

"You can look," Suralinda says, finally. She can feel the skin-plates of her cheeks pulling together in self-protection.

Poe leans in and Suralinda almost pulls away, but he'd _promised_ he wouldn't do anything stupid, and — he kisses the tip of her nose. "Yeah?"

"Well." Suralinda bristles slightly. She _hates_ being embarrassed, even a little. "Seems silly not to look."

Poe's eyes are softer than his mouth, but he dips his head before Suralinda can get angry, pressing his nose to the ridge of skin-plates at her sternum, his lips to the seam where they meet.

He doesn't say anything this time when he noses his way across her pectoral plate and there's nothing _human_ there.

Suralinda wraps one calf around his and nudges her other leg between his again, in case a distraction is needed, but Poe stays focused, kissing across her chest and down towards the delineation of skin-plates across her ribs. 

"You're beautiful," Poe murmurs against her waist. "You really are."

Suralinda rests her hand at the crown of his skull, letting his hair tickle her fingers. He's so _earnest_ , and it rouses the hunger from before. She wants to eat him up. 

She wants to at least be able to kiss him all over the same way he can kiss her, but his skin is so _soft_ and she's seen what her saliva does to human skin. She doesn't want to do that to Poe.

“You smell really good,” Poe says, after a moment, sucking at her hip. 

He straightens up slowly, coming back to her ribs and kissing up to her chest again before leaning his head against her shoulder. He's breathing harder than Suralinda had realized, and she can feel his chest shifting against hers. 

She runs her hand down his back and he shivers under her touch. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Poe says, clearing his throat. "Just — need a sec."

An entirely different heat zings through Suralinda at that. She wants — she wants to see him, smell him. She wants to _cause_ it.

She presses up against him, digging her heels into the mattress, and Poe shivers, turning his face against her neck. 

"Lin — wait," he pants into her skin, wet-hot breath, "If you do that, I'm gonna — "

"Don't you want to?" Suralinda is talking into his hair, now, the tang of sweat in his curls making her dizzy.

“Uh," Poe laughs shakily against her pectoral plate. "Yeah, but it's not fair."

Suralinda inhales, and everything smells like Poe. "You can watch me after." 

Poe shakes his head and buries his face deeper against Suralinda's neck. "What about — " he runs his hand down the side of Suralinda's thigh and hitches her leg up around his waist.

Suralinda hooks her heel under the curve of his ass and Poe must be grinning, because she can feel his teeth against the tendons of her throat. 

He shifts forward, both of them still wearing their soft pajama pants and standard-issue underwear.

"Poe," Suralinda breathes, warning. 

Poe hesitates, but doesn't really pull away. He holds himself up on shaky arms so that he can look down at her face. "What do you want to do?"

"I think — this is okay." Suralinda takes a deep breath. Surely, she can't soak through her panties _and_ pajamas. "Just be careful." 

Poe nods and kisses her neck, her cheek. "I will, I will."

"Okay." Suralinda eases her leg slightly higher around his hips and digs her heel into the round of Poe's ass. 

"Pfask," Poe swears, lowly. Suralinda shivers; she's only rarely heard Poe curse — and she's never heard his voice so ragged.

She wraps her arm around his neck, lets her hand spread across the muscles of his shoulders, feeling them flex as he rolls his hips against hers.

"Poe," Suralinda whispers. "You're so... hot." She means it in temperature, and the heat of the pheromones blazing from his skin, and the light sheen of sweat on his face.

Poe laughs, shaking a curl out off his forehead. "Thanks. You're really cool." 

She can tell he doesn't mean her skin, because he's been curled around her for so long that they're probably the same temperature. "Dork."

"Your dork," he says, softly, and rearranges his arm to the side of her shoulder, shifting down a little closer against her, resting more heavily in the cradle of her hips. 

She can feel him clearly now, almost like there are no layers between them. 

Almost, but not quite, and she wants to shove her hand down between them, but she also wants to keep touching his hair, and the span of his shoulders. Next time.

Her fangs have been spurting venom into her mouth insistently for what feels like hours now, the primal part of her desperate to pin him on her teeth so she can keep him still and get what her own body wants, but — it's Poe. It's _Poe_ , and she could love him someday, and she wants to be soft with him. 

Poe leans up, pushing his face into her hair where it's spread across the pillow, and the angle shifts the weight of his cock into the crease of her thigh. He makes a small noise, rocking his hips, and Suralinda can smell something different in the air. She's not the only one getting wet. That means he's close, she thinks, a little dizzily, and wraps her arm tighter around him, runs her heel down the back of his thigh. 

She can feel the muscles of his cock twitching.

She can imagine it inside her.

Poe makes a soft pained noise and Suralinda feels him goes tense under her hands, feels his breathing slowly even out against her neck. 

The smell of him is so thick in the air that Suralinda is dizzy with it, practically able to see the cloud of pheromones, her mouth aching with the pressure of keeping her jaw snapped shut. She wants to flick her forked tongue out to taste the salt on the air.

"Sorry," Poe whispers, shifting to press his nose to the curve where her shoulder meets neck. 

Suralinda swallows. "Don't be." She touches Poe's red cheek. "Don't be sorry."

"I just mean," Poe sighs, "I'm sorry I can't get you off. I feel selfish." 

She has to swallow again before she laughs so that she doesn't spray Poe with her saliva. "I'm — I'm real close, Poe."

"Oh," Poe says, and he looks bashful peering up at her. "Really? That's awesome." 

Suralinda nods and meets his eyes. "Really."

"Are you — what can I do?" 

"I — I don't know," Suralinda says, awkwardly. "Um, if you scoot back I can... take care of myself?"

Poe nods, easing off to her side carefully, their legs untangling. "Can I kiss you some more?" 

Suralinda nods and shoves her hand down into her underwear with a sigh of relief. Poe's lips find her shoulder as he rests his head against her, eyes greedy and still warm, even though he's starting to smell sleepy.

"That's — wow," Poe sighs, teeth dragging at her collarbone. 

Suralinda nods. She pulls her feet up flat on the mattress so she can lean back against the headboard for a better angle.

Poe's hand drifts to her chest again, palm spanning across one of her pectoral plates curiously. 

The sensation isn't all that different, but the warmth seeping through her eases something in Suralinda's chest, and she tilts her hips up into her own touch. 

"I can hear you." Poe's lips brush her ear.

Suralinda shivers, but the embarrassment is nothing compared to how _warm_ she feels right now, flooded with Poe's affection and how good she feels. Her skin-plates are relaxing across her body, the softskin beneath prickling with sensation. 

"You smell amazing," Poe continues, tracing his fingertips over the flat of her chest, drawing absentminded letters. "Do you feel good?"

"Like — to touch, or do I like it?" Suralinda can't quite catch her breath.

Poe pauses. "I — guess both?" His face heats against her shoulder. "I'm just trying to sound sexy."

Suralinda licks her lips, and considers. "I'm really wet. It's... good." 

The fragile muscles of Poe's throat move against the side of her upper arm. "I wish I could help."

"You did." Suralinda exhales carefully. Now that the scent of his arousal is settling, her venom seems to be doing the same. "Your smell, and feeling your cock, that was good, too." 

Poe tenses, and then laughs shortly against her shoulder. "Force." 

"What?" Suralinda grins. "Am I scandalizing you?"

"I just — yeah, a little!" Poe laughs and hides his face in her hair. "Sorry, I guess I fail at the whole dirty-talk thing."

Suralinda leans into him, resting her chin against his head. She's so, so close. "It's alright. You're cute when you’re embarrassed." 

Poe's flat little teeth scrape over her bare shoulder in response, and Suralinda has to work hard to keep from whimpering.

"Do that again." 

Poe obliges, the tip of his tongue hot and wet before his teeth close and he sucks hard enough to leave a good mark on human skin. 

Suralinda tightens around her finger and tips her head back, eyes squeezing shut. "Again."

Poe growls, and his hand splays lower on her ribs, holding her still — a touch that Suralinda wants to arch into, test the strength of. 

This time, he just barely edges his bottom teeth into the seam of her shoulder-plate, the biting edge pressed to her softskin.

Suralinda hisses, legs shaking as she comes, her eyes squeezed shut. "Pfask, Poe — fuck — "

He soothes the same plate with his tongue gently, but that only intensifies the feeling and she whimpers, curling almost into a ball.

Poe follows her, curling around her back, and Suralinda shudders. She isn't sure what to _say_. 

Poe's fingertips touch the place on her arm that he'd bitten. "You okay? I didn't hurt you, did I?"

"No," Suralinda breathes. "No, it was good."

"I'm glad." Poe smiles. "You were, too." He pauses. "I have to go, um. Change my, um. Put on clean pajamas?"

Suralinda nods. "I should go clean up too." 

Poe nods. He kisses the bottom-most knob of her cranial ridge, right at the nape of her neck, then sits up and runs his hands through his hair. "Do you want me to come back? After?"

Suralinda frowns. "Oh, I didn't — yes. I didn't realize you meant you were leaving." Everything feels a little fuzzy, like her brain is still trying to process all of Poe's smells. "But I want you to come back. If you do."

Poe smiles like cloudbreak coming through atmo, the dazzle of sunlight again after all the dark of space. "I'll come back whenever you want me to."

Suralinda wipes her hand on her pajama pants and smiles to herself. "Good."

* * *

"Hey!" Iolo bounces into his seat at breakfast, all long gangly limbs and huge eyes. "There's a Twi'leki Independence Day fair in Little Ryloth this weekend; we should go. It's not that far from here and transpo tickets are half-price."

Poe nudges Suralinda's elbow with his and looks hopeful. "That sounds cool." 

Suralinda nods and smiles at Karé across the table, tucked under Iolo's arm. "Sure. As long as Antilles doesn't give us another giant project on centaxday."

Poe glows next to her and slides his fingers between hers under the table so that he can squeeze her hand.  
"I heard he was trying to find a sub for centaxday," Muran chimes in. "Is Snap's mom on-planet?" 

Resident Advisor Snap Wexley's hand smacks the back of Muran's head. "Stuff it, Muran." Everyone laughs as Muran's dark cheeks flush with embarrassment — his crush on their advisor is as much an open secret as Commander Wexley's relationship with Professor Antilles — when Snap keeps walking over to his table on the other side of the mess with the other RAs and later-life students. A lot of people's training was delayed by the war.

"You _wish_ Snap would stuff it _for you_ ," Karé grins at Muran, when Snap is safely out of earshot. 

"Pfask," Muran mutters, and vengefully stabs his porridge with his spoon. "Can't we go back to making fun of Poe all the time?"

"Poe sorted his shit out," Iolo shrugs. "It's not as fun to tease him now." 

Poe grins brightly beside Suralinda, and she smiles back at him.

Muran sighs, but he doesn't look too offended. "It's not my fault he doesn't take me seriously." 

Karé reaches across the table and pinches Muran's cheek. "Sweet little baby Muran."

He scowls. "Once I get better at Galactic Expansion, you'll see. If Poe could get a babe like Suralinda, I can definitely at least get to blow Snap once."

Poe chokes on his breakfast sandwich, and Suralinda has to pat him on the back none too gently.

* * *

Poe has been holding Suralinda's hand since they both flashed their passes to get on the railspeeder into Little Ryloth and found seats. It makes Suralinda's face hurt with smiling.

A tiny human child sitting across from them keeps chewing on its fingers and staring at Suralinda, round green eyes flicking from her sharp red eyes to the smooth plates of her blue exoskin to the shade of vampy lipstick Karé convinced her to buy on the holonet because it makes her look grown-up and fancy. She tries to keep her lips closed over her fangs while the kid stares.

"Hey, buddy," Poe says, about five minutes into the staring. "Is that a Crystal Cairn shirt?" 

The child's eyes flick to Poe and go shy as it nods. 

"Cool! My girlfriend," Poe jogs Suralinda's elbow, "painted a droid to look just like their pit-droid at school last year!" 

The kid blinks fast and finally its fingers fall from its mouth as it asks, "You did?"

Suralinda nods. "Yeah, I even programmed it to say, 'go Crystal Cairn!' "

The kid grins and points to one of the decals over their tummy. "This is an X-wing. You need one pilot and one droid to fly an X-wing. My moms flew X-wings but they don't anymore."

"We're in school so we can learn how to fly too," Poe grins back. "I think x-wings are pretty cool, don't you?"

The kid nods and clambers out of its seat to wobble across the aisle and look at them close up. They're still young enough to smell faintly like urine and milk and sweet grain cereal.

"Are you mean?" they ask Suralinda.

"I try not to be," Suralinda says honestly. 

Poe is holding her hand a little tighter than normal. 

"Th'emperor had red eyes," they're informed very solemnly. "I saw it in a episode of _Rebel Heroes_."

"That was a scary episode," Suralinda says, quietly. She isn't sure how to reassure this tiny child that she isn't going to Force lightning them. 

"You know what else has red eyes?" Poe asks, his voice a little wobbly. He smiles, but it doesn't meet his own dark eyes. "Have you ever seen a toffibunny? They're really nice, right? But they have red eyes. It's because their eyes have special cells in them," Poe says, widening his own eyes. "So they can see in the _dark_."

"I don't like the dark!" A smudgy face leans closer to Suralinda as sticky hands land on her knees. "Can you see in the dark?" 

"I can," Iolo says, finally, from across the aisle.

He smiles at the child and pats the empty seat next to him. "I'll tell you all about it if you want."

The kid nods solemnly, and with an approving nod from their mother, crawls into the empty seat between Iolo and Karé, listening with rapt attention as Iolo starts describing how he can see colors that humans can’t. He even closes his inner eyelids gamely when the kid’s chubby finger pokes right up to them.

Suralinda doesn’t have to look at Poe to know that he’s watching them, too. She can practically hear his brain working, but what he’s thinking, she doesn’t know. She twists her fingers together in her lap.

Poe’s arm is warm and pleasantly heavy when he wraps it around her shoulders to draw her closer. His other hand closes around hers, a little awkwardly, but Suralinda sandwiches it with her own. She lets their fingers clasp as tightly as Poe wants.

* * *

Suralinda comes in from the fresher toweling her hair, and finds Karé curled up, not in her own bed, but in Suralinda's.

"Hey," she says, "everything okay?"

Karé glances up and her cheeks are pink, and she's... laughing. "Yes, I just. I couldn't be the only one to see this shit, Suralinda. C'mere." 

Suralinda can't help the skeptical, suspicious look on her face as she edges towards the cot. She stops to drop her damp towel into the laundry chute and piles the long green curtain into messy knots on either side of her cranial ridge as she sits down on her mattress. "What?"

"Look." Karé turns her datapad to Suralinda, propped on her knees. There's a blisteringly bright purple dildo on the screen. 

"Wh — !?" Suralinda recoils and covers her eyes. "What are you doing and why are you in _my_ bed while you do it?"

"Because it's funny!" Karé grabs her wrist and tugs her closer. "Come on. Look at this one." 

Suralinda peeks through her fingers. "What species is that even _for_?"

"I don't think it exists." Karé's grin is so wide it must hurt. She pats the bed beside her. "Look, just pick a category to look at and if you don't think it's funny anymore I'll leave you alone and go to bed." 

"I don't know," Suralinda says, squirming. "What's funny about it in the first place?"

"Because it's ridiculous. Sex is ridiculous. And it feels good to laugh about it sometimes." 

Suralinda rubs the cleft of her tongue over one of her fangs and looks distrustfully at the display on Karé's datapad. "I guess... I don't know. 'Hot for Humanoids'?"

Karé clicks the tab and a new page opens. "Oh, this is a good one — " she clicks one of the thumbnails, with a picture of what looks like a baby pink pinwheel. "This is the 'Sqweel Go.' It 'uses ten petite tongues to have you squealing with pleasure and is small enough to fit in your purse'!" 

"Why — what humanoid has ten tongues?" Suralinda peeks through her fingers again. "That sounds horrifying!"

"I think it's just 'cause the tongues look like little versions of our tongues," Karé shrugs, sticking out her own tongue. 

Suralinda wrinkles her nose. "Scary. Next."

"Okay. Here's the 'forbidden fruit personal massager.'" A picture of a bright red, silicone apple-shape pops up. " 'This sensous fruit offers five different settings and seven vibration patterns.' I'm not sure why that's in this section, humanoids aren't the only ones who like fruit." 

"And it's not very sexy," Suralinda agrees. "It's just... food." She pauses. "Oh, maker, is there a species that has sex with _fruit_?"

Karé laughs. "You haven't been reading Cosmo-Hosnian, have you?" 

Suralinda looks at Karé askance. "No." She shakes her head, then settles a little more comfortably onto the bed. It's her own bed, after all, even if Karé's commandeered it. "How are — I mean, I don't want to sound like... I mean... how are you so comfortable talking about all this stuff?"

Karé leans into her shoulder. "I grew up with a lot of girls? We all just talked about it. I miss that, I guess. But I don't want to make you uncomfortable, Sur, you can always tell me to cut it out."

Suralinda shakes her head. "You don't make me uncomfortable, I just don't have much to contribute. Poe and I can't, you know, I can't talk about it like you can."

Karé makes a dismissive noise. "I would think you and Poe would be super into toys." 

Suralinda's face-plates all contract tight with embarrassment. "Why?"

"Because," Karé says, like it should be obvious. Her voice softens, though, and she tilts her head against Suralinda's shoulder. "It just seems like it would be a way for you to do stuff together without... it making you nervous about hurting him." 

Suralinda blinks. Her skin-plates loosen, slowly, blood vessel by vessel.

She hadn't thought of it that way.

"Really?" She looks down at the datapad in Karé's hand. "You think Poe would be okay with that?"

"Why wouldn't he be?" Karé's fingers tap across the pad, clicking a tab that says _mutual pleasure_. "Look, some of these aren't scary or funny. Or, they're a little funny, but in a sort of hot way." She scrolls through the thumbnails slowly. "See, these are just different kinds of vibrators you can use on each other. Or by yourself." She shrugs. 

Suralinda looks at them, trying to quiet the immediate reaction to be distrustful or — ashamed, maybe, or embarrassed. These aren't so ostentatious, although the colors are still ridiculous. 

"Some of them are pretty fancy," Karé continues, "but some of them are really simple. I was looking at this one." She points out an inauspicious looking curved pink toy with a silver handle and button on one end. 

Suralinda chews on the inside of her cheek. "I'm not human, though," she says, finally. "What if — " her face-plates tighten again. "What if it... what if I _dissolve_ it somehow?"

"So try it out beforehand." Karé shrugs. "They're made to be pretty durable, though." 

Suralinda keeps staring at the small holo-projection, the specs scrolling along the side in tiny, neat letters. She tries to imagine Poe's facial expression, if he were to see this, and she... doesn't know what it would be.

"Too much?" Karé asks, quietly. "I can go." 

"No, it's — I just never thought about it," Suralinda admits. "I just assumed that he and I could never... you know."

Karé nods. "But you trust each other. Even if you started something with toys and it wasn't working, you can stop."

Suralinda looks at it, considering. "Are there... maybe something like that, just simple, but maybe smaller? Than that?"

Karé kindly muffles a laugh. "Yeah. You can search by size, even. Here's one that's mainly for external use, it's just like, the size of your finger-ish." 

"Well," Suralinda says, looking at the specs on the tiny thing — almost identical to the durasteel casing of a blaster bolt charger — "I can just use my fingers for that." She looks at Karé in the corner of her eye.

Karé grins. "Yeah. So — I mean, I don't want to gross you out, but I can show you the ones I like?" She hesitates. "I mean, I know everyone has different tastes, but if it's helpful. It's sort of overwhelming when you first start looking."

Suralinda presses her lips together, not sure whether she's trying to hold in a giggle or a groan. Is she embarrassed? Excited? "Okay."

"Right, so." Karé navigates on the site with such ease that Suralinda is instantly jealous. Karé just has so much experience with _everything_. "It sort of depends on what I want, there are different toys for different things."

"I don't — I don't think I want more than one," Suralinda says. "It seems silly if I don't even know whether it's going to, you know, melt."

Karé nods. "So maybe just something... not-scary, but that you could use a couple different ways." 

She opens a page that has a series of toys in ascending sizes, all shaped like humanoid anatomy in spite of their bright colors. 

"So do you have any preferences?" Karé asks, scrolling absently across the datapad. "Something close to a squamatan penis will probably feel best, honestly. What — uh, I've never seen one of those."

Suralinda bites her lip. "Neither have I. I don't really know."

Karé seems to digest that, nodding slowly. "Do you want to look it up, or just... go with something more like what Poe has?"

"Something humanoid is fine," Suralinda says, quickly. 

"Okay," Karé says. She looks at Suralinda and waggles her eyebrows. "That, I know." She stills, suddenly, looking vaguely perplexed. "Actually, I know Keshian. I just know Iolo said that he doesn't look _that_ different from the others."

Suralinda makes a face. "I mean — what... does... Keshian look like?"

Karé scrolls along the page until she finds what she's looking for. "This, pretty much. Just, you know, attached to the rest of Iolo's body."

"Oh." Suralinda blinks. It's weird seeing these sorts of shapes divorced from the bodies they go with, but it's weirder to think of them _on_ a body. "Do you like it?"

Karé actually flushes slightly, for once, like maybe this isn't as uneventful and blase as she'd let on for her, either. "Yeah. It took some getting used to, but yeah."

Suralinda bites back a sigh. Something in her aches at the thought that she and Poe won't _get_ to get used to each other that way. "It might be weird for Poe if I brought a non-humanoid toy over." 

"True," Karé says. "Especially if you showed up like, 'hey, here's Iolo's dick!'"

Suralinda can't help it — 

She snorts. She starts to laugh with a kind of embarrassed wildness and falls backwards on the mattress, covering her face.

"He'd probably think it was funny," she admits, when she can breathe again. 

Karé wipes her eyes where she'd been laughing, too, and shakes her head. "Well, what about Muran? He'd feel left out."

"Poor Muran," Suralinda sighs, rubbing her own eyes. "But — have you ever ordered something, from here?" 

"Sure," Karé says. "It arrives pretty fast."

"And it's not... no one would know where it's from?"

Karé's smile gentles. "Nope. The package isn't even a special color, like when T'hadee got something from Vicly's Secret that time."

Suralinda chews her lip, and then pushes her shoulder against Karé's. "Okay. But I'm not ordering anything with you hovering over my shoulder! Go." She flushes, and adds. "I don't even know if I will order anything, anyway." 

"Uh-huh." Karé shrugs out of her pants and stretches lazily before climbing into her own cot. "You know you can talk to me about whatever, right," she says, half into her pillow. "I might not know the answers, but I'll care."

"I know." Suralinda pulls her own datapad off the bedside table and connects to the holonet. It won't hurt to look, anyway.

* * *

A week later, after lights-out — when they're all sure that Wexley is either asleep or well distracted by Galactic Expansion — Karé squeezes Suralinda's arm and sneaks out of their dorm to tip-toe down the hall to Iolo's quarters. Suralinda looks up at the ceiling, staring and focusing on breathing, until a faint knock whispers against her door.

When the maglock slides open, Poe smiles at her bashfully, his cheeks slightly red, hair curling almost-dry from the shower, in his soft pajamas and a pair of socks. He's carrying his uniform in a neatly folded bundle under his arm for the morning.

"Hi," Suralinda whispers, pushing the blankets back for him and making room in her bed. Poe leaves his uniform on her desk and slides into bed, his arm curling around her waist automatically. 

"Hi, beautiful," Poe murmurs, and he tips his warm face forward to kiss her shoulder. Suralinda put on a camisole with her underpants instead of a big t-shirt, and even though she's been less clothed around Poe, it still feels racy.

"This is pretty," he says, lips brushing the spaghetti strap at her collarbone. 

"Thank you," Suralinda says, and she tucks her hand under the hem of Poe's t-shirt to soak up the warmth of his soft skin. "You smell nice."

"You do too." Poe inhales and then sighs gently against her throat. "I missed holding you." 

Suralinda smiles and flushes warm as Poe's breath kisses against her. "It's only been a week."

"I know, I'm pathetic." Poe sounds unrepentant. 

Suralinda grins, fangs biting into her lower lip. "I like it."

Poe's fingers dig into her hip ticklishly. "You like your puny little human boyfriend?" 

"Yes," Suralinda says, and doesn't correct him. "You're very soft."

"Hmph." Poe sounds smug, and his thumb slides under the waistband of her sleeping shorts. 

Suralinda swallows, shifting her thighs together. "I — um. I bought something. For you, kind of."

"Oh yeah?" Poe tilts his head up to see her face. 

Suralinda nods. "Just a second." She climbs over Poe, straddling over his hips for the slightest second just to tease, and bends to dig through her footlocker. She'd hidden the small, discreet box right at the bottom.

Poe scoots over closer to the wall, so she'll have room when she comes back. "Is it something for school?" 

Suralinda can't help the nervous laugh that bubbles up. "No!" 

"Is it something for Beebee?"

Suralinda shakes her head. "No, just — open it."

Poe looks baffled, but it's a cute look on him. The wrinkle between his eyebrows always makes Suralinda feel fond. He takes the small box: it's velvety-soft and dark grey, much classier than Suralinda had expected when it arrived the day before. 

Poe raises one eyebrow at her before he lifts off the top.

His face immediately goes so red it's almost purple.

"Oh!"

"Obviously we don't have to use it," Suralinda says, so quickly her voice sounds funny from lack of breath. "It was just an idea, I just thought maybe we could be together like that, since we can't — " 

"No, I — I'm just surprised," Poe mumbles. "I'd thought about it, but I didn't want to insult you by asking."

"I wouldn't have been — " Suralinda pauses. "I... thank you. I probably would've been. A little."

Poe smiles at her, gently and tentatively, even though his face is still red. It makes the scent of him stronger, and Suralinda scoots closer on the mattress.

"Is it okay?" she asks. "I can't return it, but I don't have to _use_ it if it bothers you."

"It doesn't bother me," Poe says, carefully. "I — have you tried it?"

"Not yet," Suralinda admits. "I wanted to wait for you."

“Oh,” Poe says, softer this time. “Okay. Wow.” 

Suralinda's throat feels dry even as her fangs well venom into her mouth, watching Poe handle the slim, simple toy with curious fingers. He doesn't try to make it look sexy, but... it _is_ , Suralinda thinks, the shape of his hands and the fit of his fingers around the device so visceral.

"Where did you, um. Where did you get it?" Poe asks, setting it back in the box quickly. 

"Holonet," Suralinda says. She crosses her legs and presses her thighs together tight. "Karé was looking at them."

Poe glances up at her and then laughs, shaking his head. "That... doesn't surprise me, I guess." He leans into her side, ducking his face to kiss her shoulder and leaving his mouth there, warm. "But you're sure _you_ want to try this." 

Suralinda breathes, a quick sip through her mouth to taste Poe's pheromones on the air, lets the warmth and comforting scent of him ease through her. She's been thinking about it since she ordered the toy, trying to imagine Poe leaning over her while something bigger than her fingers is inside.

She presses her thighs together again. "Yeah."

Poe nods, his chin digging into her shoulder for a moment — it's not uncomfortable, if anything it feels like the warmth is actually getting through her skin-plates and making her softskin prickle with sensation. His hand spreads over her thigh. 

"I wish — " his voice is thick and throaty — "I wish it could actually be me."

Suralinda stiffens a little, but he isn't trying to be hurtful. He's just being honest. Because there's a part of Suralinda that wanted to hear that, as impossible as the wanting is. She puts her hand over his, slotting their fingers together carefully. "Well, can your dick vibrate?" 

Poe snorts and shakes his head, curls tickling her cheek. "Blast. I guess that's out of the question."

Suralinda turns and kisses his hair, carefully close-mouthed. She can still taste him when she licks her lips.

Poe exhales sharply through his nose before nuzzling at her shoulder again. His dull, flat little teeth tug at the strap of her camisole.

"I want to feel you," Suralinda says, quietly. "Can we take these off?" 

Poe nods and she feels his lips curve into a smile against her upper arm. "I was just waiting for you to ask."

"You can ask too, sometimes," Suralinda points out. 

Poe's face heats. "I know. I just don't want to push you."

"I'm the one who's been pushy before," Suralinda shrugs. "I... wouldn't mind if you were a _little_ more pushy."

Poe lifts his head and bites his lip. His eyes rake over Suralinda, from her bared cranial ridge down over her face to where her camisole drapes loose over one shoulder and down to her tiny pajama shorts. 

"I want to see you," Poe says, softly. "I want to see all of you. Even if I can't touch, I want — I want to see it."

Suralinda feels her face heat, her skin-plates contracting. "You want to see my pussy," she says, because she refuses to _not_ say it, like she's embarrassed about it. 

Poe's face goes red, but he doesn't look away from her face as he nods. 

"I want to touch your cock," she decides, and holds his gaze even as her skin-plates prickle. 

Poe's adam's apple bobs. "That seems unfair," he says, almost hunching in on himself. "Like it's taking advantage, since I can't touch you back."

Suralinda nudges the box closer to him. "That's what this is for."

"You want me to use it?" Poe looks momentarily flummoxed. "On you," he clarifies, quickly. "You'll let me use it on you?" 

Suralinda nods. "That's why I got it."

"I thought you just meant, you would use it when we — " Poe shakes his head. "Which is cool! It's... really hot, honestly. But that's even better." 

Suralinda can't help laughing at the awed look on his red face. "I just figured it's as close as we could get to actually doing it."

Poe is quiet for a minute, squeezing her hand. "I feel really special that you trust me that much," he says. 

Suralinda blinks.

She swallows another mouthful of saliva and venom.

"It's... it's you trusting me," she says, haltingly.

"I do trust you," Poe agrees, his eyebrows bunching. "That's what we do, we trust each other." 

Suralinda's face-plates feel a little itchy and she has to look away. Her mouth twitches while she takes the opportunity to pull her top off, hiding for a moment behind the material.

And then Poe's careful hands are helping untangle it from around her head, tracing her neck, curling around her shoulders and leaving trails of warmth behind. 

His fingers curl over the pointed tips of her ears and he smiles, sweet and soft, and his eyes are so adoring.

"I like your hair like this," Poe murmurs. "I like being able to see your ears and your — " He runs the tip of his index finger over her cranial ridge. "You don't show it all the time."

It's another reminder of how different she is, easier to hide and let her classmates try to forget. But with Poe it feels wrong to hide any part of herself. She doesn't have to pretend with him. "I like your hair like this," she says, reaching up to touch a stray curl above his eye. 

Poe smiles. "Thanks, I grew it myself."

Suralinda laughs, and puts her hand over the fly of his soft sleep shorts. "'d you grow this yourself, too?" 

Poe makes a gurgling noise. "Yep!"

Suralinda bites back her nerves and lets her fingertips trace out the shape of him through the flimsy fabric. She likes that she's the one deciding when they speed up, or if they need to slow down. 

Poe's heartbeat speeds up all the same, though, and she can feel it against her sensitive skin, some inner part of her swallowed down that wants to think of it as _prey_. His muscles twitch under her fingers, the sweetness of his blood rushing around through the tiny fibers and fragile veins.

For a moment, she thinks of the silly bright colors of the toys on the holonet, and tries to compare the shape of him to what she'd seen there. It makes her want to giggle.

"What?" Poe asks. His voice cracks, just a little. 

"I was just thinking about all the different sorts of toys I saw on the net," Suralinda admits. "Yours isn't neon purple, is it?" 

"Uh," Poe laughs shakily. "I mean, it's... purplish, I guess, sometimes. Not neon, though. Is that disappointing?"

Suralinda sighs exaggeratedly. "Totally a dealbreaker."

Poe flops onto his back, forearm covering his eyes. "Not vibrating, not neon. I can't do anything right."

Suralinda follows him, propping up on an elbow and letting her hand linger on his crotch. He's so _warm_ between his legs, and she doesn't want to pull away. "I guess I'll make do," she says, quietly. 

Poe props up on one elbow and looks at her, other arm slowly dropping away from his face. Something is different in the air now that neither of them is laughing and Suralinda's body is draped over Poe's front, her shirt off and bare skin-plates all loose to soak up all of the heat radiating through his thin t-shirt.

"You should kiss me again," Suralinda whispers. 

Poe's free hand slides up the length of her back, fingertips just barely grazing up the length of her spine before he can cup the back of her head in his palm and pull her closer.

The moment of panic is just that, a moment, and Suralinda breathes through her nose, biting her lips shut tight. Lets herself be moved.

Poe's lips nuzzle up against the lowest bulb of her cranial ridge. They part, mouth wet and soft as he touches over it the way he nuzzles and licks lightly at the seams of her chest-plates sometimes. Suralinda doesn't know whether he _knows_ that her cranial ridge is sensitive, all softskin, but he moves like he does.

Suralinda doesn't have a lot to compare it to, but this is what she imagines Poe going down on her would be like. The shivery confusion of whether she wants to push into the touch or pull away from too much. 

Poe pulls back just enough that his breath whispers cool against her wet skin when he murmurs, "You like that? I can — you smell stronger."

"It's good," Suralinda manages, trying to keep her lips pressed together. 

Poe does it again, a slow, wet kiss, as he wraps his arms around her and rolls them so that he can hover over her on the mattress.

Suralinda's hand is caught between their bodies, and she can feel his cock twitch against her palm. She wants to touch herself, but she's afraid of how wet she is, and of getting any on Poe's skin where his tee-shirt is riding up above his waistband. 

"Take your shorts off?" Poe's voice cracks again. He clears his throat. "I want to — I wanna make you come."

Suralinda nods. "Can you — get up, for a minute?" 

Poe nods and scoots back, hitching up to sit on his ankles. He's tenting the front of his pajama pants up, but doesn't even look embarrassed as he pulls off his t-shirt.

Suralinda wriggles out of her shorts, trying to wipe down the insides of her thighs as she pulls them off. 

"Kriff, you smell good," Poe mumbles. His cheeks are bright red at the apples, like he's been running. 

Suralinda is actually relieved his eyes aren't on her face, because she can't stop from smiling ridiculously. 

"Um, you," Poe licks his lip thoughtfully. "I can't — is it going to hurt you? I can't, you know, I can't open you up... first."

"I don't think it'll hurt me," Suralinda says. "You can just — use it outside, first, before you try to put it in." She clears her throat. She _can_ talk about this. "Just use it on my clit at first." 

Poe's eyes close and Suralinda can _see_ his cock bobble slightly under his pants. "Okay," Poe says, in a tiny voice. "I can do that."

"What if we lie back down," Suralinda says, carefully. "And then I can touch you, too." 

Poe nods and stretches out above her, holding himself up on his elbows so their chests are just barely brushing.

"Maybe on our sides?" Suralinda touches his waist, the soft bit above his hip. "I want you to be comfortable." 

Poe touches his lips to her forehead again as they move. The cot isn't made for two — it was probably built specifically to _discourage_ two bodies being able to fit in it — and Poe's heel, Suralinda’s knee, both of their elbows knock against the wall as they try to adjust.

"One day we'll do this in a proper bed," Poe says, grimacing. 

Suralinda hides her smile by ducking to nuzzle her nose against his collarbone. He smells so good. 

She swallows hard and bites her lips together tightly so that she doesn't flick out her tongue to lick away the faint glisten of sweat from the hollow of his clavicle. She wants to bury her face against his neck and nibble at the pulse of his carotid artery; she wants to leave marks on him like Iolo does to Karé.

Poe hisses, and Suralinda realizes she's dug her fingers into his hip more firmly than she had intended. She moves her hand away and Poe shakes his head. "It's good," he says, thickly, echoing what she had said earlier. "I like it." So maybe there are other ways to leave marks. 

Suralinda traces the waistband of his pants around until the heel of her hand brushes against his soft hair.

Poe's breath hitches against the crown of her head, and his hands tremble a little on her ribs, where he'd been tracing the lines of her skin-plates. 

"I don't know whether we should be naked at the same time," Suralinda admits. "I don't want to get any stuff on you."

Poe's fingers draw circles, soothing, against her chest, and she can feel him nod. "Okay. I don't mind waiting." 

Suralinda feels strange and shuddery all over. "Okay. I don't know what to do first."

"You said I should touch your clit." Poe sounds breathless and hopeful.

"Not with your bare hands," Suralinda corrects quickly. "Just in case."

"I know," Poe says. "With the — the vibrator." 

Suralinda has to swallow down a wash of venom as she nods shallowly.

"Okay." Poe flails slightly, reaching behind himself to find the box in the sheets. 

He reads the back of the box with a crease between his eyebrows, and Suralinda starts to giggle as she watches his serious face.

"Is it that complicated?" She knows it isn't: she'd read through all the instructions at least half a dozen times since it arrived. 

"I just don't want to hurt you," Poe says, flushing again. He looks up to meet her eyes. "Do you have lube?"

"There are some packets in the box," Suralinda says. She'll have to get more if this works, if they do it again, but the sample packets that the company sent should be enough for tonight.

Poe touches her knee. "Are they safe for you? I mean, they're — even humans can have problems with some of them."

"I checked the ingredients, they should be okay." Suralinda basks in the sweetness of his concerned face. 

Poe swallows. "Okay. Just — if anything feels weird, let me know."

Suralinda nods. "I'll tell you." She tucks her fingers under the waistband of his underwear. 

Poe's eyelashes flutter.

"Maybe — maybe I should be after," he hedges. 

"I just wanted something to hold onto," Suralinda admits. "Is that okay?" The fabric of his underwear is soft, satisfying to crumple between her fingers. 

Poe's smile is soft and warm and so, so comforting. "Yeah, of course."

"Okay." Suralinda is aware of how small her voice is. "Maybe — " It had been her idea to stay on their sides, but she feels unsteady, and it feels natural shifting to her back, letting Poe press in close to her side. She could spread her legs easier like this, too, although that seems awfully hard right now, with how tightly she's squeezed her thighs together against the wanting feeling.

"Hey," Poe whispers, and he kisses the tip of her ear. "Relax. We don't have to do this, if you're not ready."

"I _am_ ready," Suralinda huffs. "I'm just — it's weird." 

"Yeah," Poe admits, one cheek ticking. "I really want to be able to — I don't know, I wish I could do something to make it better for you."

"This is good," Suralinda protests. "It's just a little awkward, because we're at the in between bits. Even if I _were_ human, it would be a little strange, don't you think?” She touches Poe's chest, his jaw, carefully with her fingertips, lets her nails scrape a little against the skin. "Anyway, this way we both get to come the first time." 

Poe smiles at that, eyes soft. "Yeah, that's true." He chews on his lower lip. "Should I just — should I just put it between your legs now?"

"Please." Suralinda can't look away from his fingers on the glossy white handle end of the toy. 

"Can you open up a little?" Poe asks, almost a whisper. "I just can't see, uh, where I'm going."

Suralinda squirms, and lifts one leg, letting the sole of her foot rest on the mattress. The angle gives Poe more room. "Sorry." 

"Fuck," Poe murmurs, like he didn't even hear her. His eyes are trained right between her legs, pupils blown out like there isn't enough light to take all of her in.

Suralinda tightens her fingers in the waistband of his underwear, and lets her leg tilt wider. It feels _good_ , watching Poe's face.

"Fuck, you're gorgeous," Poe murmurs. "Look at that."

Suralinda's skin-plates are itchy, not sure whether to tighten with embarrassment or relax with the compliments. Her softskin, almost entirely exposed beneath her belly button, and only covered again past the creases of her thighs, feels exposed and shivery. Cold. She wants Poe's hands on her, the warmth of him. 

Poe touches the tip of the toy up against her without turning it on. He strokes slowly instead, getting it wet with her slick.

Suralinda wrinkles her nose, and leans her face up against his shoulder. It's a strange sensation, but she doesn't want him to stop.

"Okay?" Poe asks.

She nods. She can't say anything for a minute, too aware of the venom welling and gathering on her tongue. 

"Okay," Poe murmurs. "It looks good. You're so _smooth_."

Suralinda muffles a giggle against his collarbone. It's funny — she's listened to Karé and the other girls in their year complain about the hassle of grooming in the fresher plenty of times. There are some days she's even jealous of them, but it's hard to remember why when Poe is looking at her so worshipfully. 

"Not that — it would be okay if you weren't, too," Poe says, talking too fast. "Just, your skin is so pretty."

Her softskin is darker than her skin-plates, deep blue-purple-maroon, and Poe touches it at the crease of her thigh with his fingertips.

Suralinda lifts her hips slightly, letting the toy rub up against the side of her clit and exhaling. 

"Fuck," Poe murmurs again. "I'm — I'm gonna turn it on now, okay?"

Suralinda nods. Her knuckles are brushing delicate skin of his stomach every time he breathes, and it's grounding to feel a rhythm beneath the nerves.

Poe's eyes close as he thumbs a button on the end of the vibrator and a low hum, like an X-wing far in the distance, floats up into the space between them.

Suralinda forgets to let out a breath until her chest hurts suddenly, and it comes out in a gasp. The vibrations are set low, but it's so _good_ she doesn't know how to react. She hadn't really known what to expect. 

Poe's eyebrows go concerned. "You okay?"

" _Yes_ ," Suralinda croaks, pushing her hips up again.

"Okay," Poe murmurs, and then seems to realize all at once that she's moving towards him, not away. He leans closer over her, scent and heat everywhere. "Okay."

"Kiss me," Suralinda whispers, baring her neck for him. She wants to feel his mouth again.

Poe hums his assent as he leans down and attaches his mouth to her neck, teeth scraping lightly just how she likes. He shifts his weight so that he's almost propped over her again, the angle of the vibrator moving in kind.

Suralinda licks her fangs, tries to focus on not biting the pulsing vein at Poe's neck. "You can — I want you to." 

"What?" Poe murmurs against her neck. "I'll do anything, what do you want?"

Suralinda closes her eyes and clears her throat. "You can put it in me, now, please."

"Oh." It's a sound more than a word. "Kriff, okay. Shit."

Suralinda angles her hips up to help, and she’s so slick that when Poe angles the toy down it slides against her cunt perfectly. It barely take any pressure from him to sink the tip inside. 

Exhaling, Suralinda presses her forehead to Poe’s shoulder and shudders. It’s not like her fingers at all. 

"Oh, fuck, look at that," Poe murmurs. "Your pussy's so gorgeous, Linda."

Suralinda laughs, trying hard not to let her licked lips touch Poe's skin as she shakes. "Fuck, Poe." 

"What?" Poe asks, more distracted than affronted. "It is, it's — that's amazing. Does it feel good?" He asks, glancing up at her face. 

“You can — " Suralinda's voice is shaking maybe harder than her legs are at this point. "You can — deeper."

Poe shifts again with his whole body as he pushes more of the toy into her, the buzzing sound muffling quieter. 

"More," Suralinda breathes, and shifts her hand up to his hip, digging her fingers in. "It's good, Poe, don't — don't stop."

"I won't," Poe murmurs, and Suralinda worries at her lip with the sharp tip of her dripping fang as she watches Poe's arm muscles smoothly working as he fucks into her.

"Fuck," Suralinda breathes, and reaches down to rub at her clit impatiently. 

“Yeah,” Poe says, kissing her throat absently. “Force, you’re so amazing, sweetheart, I just wanna — fuck, look at you, just like that.” 

Suralinda’s fingertips brush the velvety-slick of the toy as he moves it, changing the angle slightly. The toy isn’t disintegrating inside her, which she’s thankful for, but she can barely remember her worries for the reality of Poe’s face as he stares down at her. 

Poe's thumb moves, and then the toy is buzzing faster.

Suralinda chokes, trying to swallow down the spit and venom in her mouth, and comes, pressing up against her fingers and bearing down on the toy. 

"Wow," Poe breathes, almost panting. He's rubbing up against her thigh to the same rhythm he's working his arm. 

"Turn it off," Suralinda gasps, pushing at Poe's hand with the back of her knuckles. "'s too much, fuck." 

"Okay, okay, okay," Poe babbles, and his hands fumble on the slippery duraplast. His eyes are wild, forehead sweaty and cheeks red.

"S'okay," she promises as he pulls it free, touching his cheek with her clean hand. "Just — " she shudders, as the toy vibrates against her thigh for a moment before he finds the button. 

"I — can you — ?" Poe's voice is tight. "I needta — "

Suralinda wipes her sticky fingers in the sheets thoroughly before she shoves his underwear down. "You _are_ sort of purple," she says, breathless.

"Uh-huh," Poe agrees, absently. He groans as Suralinda wraps her hand around him and squeezes lightly.

"You don't have to be so gentle." 

Suralinda grins, lets him see her fangs for a second. "Sure about that?" 

If anything, Poe's cock goes harder at that, a bead of white oozing out of the tip for Suralinda's thumb to sweep up. 

She rubs it around the crown, and Poe makes a tiny hoarse noise at the back of his throat, tucking his head down against her chest as he comes all over her hand. 

Suralinda inhales, dizzy with the intense scent of Poe all over her bed. Her cunt is already achy with want again, all of her skin-plates loose to let her softskin soak up her mate's pheromones and heat.

Poe's hand is low on her belly, fingertips contracting and relaxing against her softskin, which doesn't help the overload of sensation. 

"Poe," Suralinda murmurs, twitching towards his hand on instinct. She wants to come again, and he's still got the toy on his side of the bed.

"Yeah," Poe whispers, and slides his hand down between her legs, fingertips catching at her cunt as if drawn by a magnet. 

There's a moment where neither of them breathe. 

Suralinda scrambles up, her whole body tight with panic, ready to throw on the closest clothes she can find and run for a med-droid.

"Linda," Poe says, grabbing at her knee with sticky fingers. "Suralinda, I'm _fine_ , look. Look." 

Suralinda shakes her head and tucks her knees close to her chest, arms around her legs.

" _Look_ at me, Suralinda." Poe's voice is soft, like he's trying not to scare her.

Suralinda's eyes flick to his face, peeking past her knees.

"I'm fine. Look at my hand." He holds it out to her, palm up, fingers curling and uncurling.

Poe is a pilot, a good one who will be _great_ one day; he needs his hands. 

She looks down at his fingers.

And they're still there. Whole and soft, with pale calluses darning the tips.

"What," she says, disbelieving. 

"They're fine," Poe repeats, and wraps his arms around her shoulders, hugging her tightly. "I'm sorry I scared you, I wasn't thinking."

"You're okay," Suralinda mumbles, and hugs him back with one arm, the other still clutching her legs to her chest so that he can't get too close. "They don't hurt?"

"No. I promise, Linda, they're fine." Poe's eyes are serious. 

Suralinda blinks, her eyes stinging. "Really?"

"I wouldn't lie about that," Poe says, softly. "Touch them. Feel them."

Suralinda lifts her clean hand and grabs his damp one, spreading his fingers to rub them over and examine them closely. 

They're lightly sticky, and Suralinda can smell herself on him. A pang of want wraps through her ribs in spite of her fear. 

"They're not numb?" She looks at Poe's face. His eyes are bright and clear, almost giddy, but still... Poe.

"Nope. Just my same old fingers, I'm afraid." He smiles, dimpling. "Not neon purple, either."

Suralinda doesn't quite feel like she can smile, even though she wants to; her stomach is still wobbling in knots.

“I’m sorry,” Poe says solemnly. “You’re just not as badass as you thought you were.”

Suralinda's eyes feel scratchy. She's — she didn't hurt Poe. She didn't hurt him. 

"Hey," Poe murmurs, and he rubs her arm soothingly. "It's a good thing."

Suralinda nods, slowly, pushing her face into his shoulder and exhaling long and shakily. The relief comes in slower than the panic had.

She still keeps her mouth away from his skin, but it feels good to press the bridge of her nose and her closed eyelids against the sturdiness of Poe's shoulder.

Poe adjusts his arms around her, his hand on her bare thigh, tacky and _whole_. Unhurt. 

Poe shifts until he can ease Suralinda into his lap. She's so much taller than him that she would laugh if she weren't so overcome with indefinable emotion, Poe curling all around her like he can protect her.

She tries keeping her weight up, afraid of settling too closely, and Poe kisses her shoulder, her neck. "Linda, it's okay. Relax. It's not going to hurt me." 

Slowly, she lets her muscles loosen until she's resting against his bare thigh. 

"See," Poe breathes. "We're okay. We're — this is really good, actually, you know?"

Suralinda blinks, her eyelashes brushing Poe's skin.

He's right.

Maybe — maybe it's only her mouth that carries the venom, after all.

Poe is petting her hair with his clean hand, gently untangling knots down her back. "We're okay," he repeats. 

Suralinda lets his fingertips stroke down her spine, raising a shiver as he touches her so gently, lovingly.

Suddenly, somehow, the whole Galaxy feels open to her. To them.

"Sorry," Poe says, after a minute. "You can just — ignore that." 

It takes Suralinda another moment to figure out what he's talking about, and then his cock twitches against her thigh. She isn't sure how she missed it, but he's at least half-hard again already. 

She looks up at him. "I don't — I don't have to, though. I don't have to ignore it."

"I just... figured I’d killed the mood?" Poe's face is twisted up, sheepish and embarrassed. “And you might be tired, anyway.” 

Suralinda feels more awake than the first time they snuck stims, just to see what the go-pills were really like. And… she shakes her head, meets Poe's eyes. “You didn’t kill the mood.” 

"Oh." Poe's eyes are as round as she feels like hers must be. 

"Poe," Suralinda murmurs, "Can you — can we?"

"Yeah, are you — " Poe clears his throat. "You're sure? You want to?" 

"Poe, I want you," Suralinda says, some of her confidence back and bleeding into her voice. "I've wanted you for — you know I'm sure. Are you?" She touches his cheek. "You didn't want to go too fast."

"I'm kind of — " Poe laughs. "Kind of rethinking that."

Suralinda grins, her fangs catching her lip. "You still can't kiss me," she warns. "I'm definitely sure about the venom in my mouth."

"No kissing," Poe agrees. "Not your mouth, anyway." His cheeks go bright, and he glances away for a second.

Suralinda's breath catches in her nose. Does he mean — 

"I want to go down on you," Poe says, in a rush. "At some point. It doesn't have to be now, just. I'd like to. I'd really, really like to."

Suralinda's cunt twitches against his thigh.

Poe bites his lip, and kisses her cheek, sloppy against her temple, cradling her head in his hands. 

"Linda," Poe murmurs, his lips dragging over her cheekbone. "You're — I love you, you know. You know that, right?"

"I know." Suralinda runs her hands across Poe's shoulders, feeling the muscles move and his breath expanding his fragile ribcage. 

Poe _glows_. Rests his lips against the last bulb of her cranial ridge, right at her hairline. 

"You can go down on me later," Suralinda decides. 

"Kriff," Poe whispers, buzzing against the sensitive skin of her cranial ridge. It makes Suralinda's pussy twitch again, welling wet onto his leg. The soft, sparse hair on his thigh is tickling her lower lips where the softskin has no protection and _feels_ so much more than the rest of her.

Poe slides one hand across her thigh, fingertips hesitant at her stomach. "Can I touch you?" 

Suralinda nods, but catches his chin so that she can look into his eyes seriously. "If you start to feel weird _at all_ — "

"I'll tell you. And you'll tell me?"

Suralinda nods. "Yeah. I promise."

He shifts slightly, getting his hand between her legs, feeling his way carefully. 

"You're warm." Poe sounds surprised, and almost... delighted. "I wasn't sure."

"Thanks," Suralinda breathes. She squirms tentatively, rubbing up against his fingertips. 

"You're so soft here," Poe murmurs, wonderingly. Suralinda doesn't even think he realizes he's talking out loud anymore.

"'s sensitive," Suralinda agrees. "But you don't have to be so gentle."

Poe's eyes darken, his mouth slightly open and very red and wet, like he can't quite coordinate both his hand and his face at the same time.

Suralinda wants, ridiculously, to kiss him. It's absurd. She shouldn't be selfish, when they have all this to explore and be grateful for.

Instead she touches the shiny inside of his lower lip with the tip of her finger, and she gasps when Poe's so-soft tongue rasps against it. He closes his lips around her fingertip and meets her eyes.

"Taste good," Poe whispers, tongue pressing against her finger as he tries to shape the words.

Heat flushes Suralinda's stomach, and she bites the inside of her cheek. "I wish I could taste you," she murmurs. "I'm sorry."

"I don't mind," Poe says, immediately. "Don't apologize." 

Suralinda nods, and she taps each of his funny little teeth, giggling. He's so _cute_.

Poe sucks at the pad of her fingertip, cheeks hollowing, eyelashes fluttering. He's so cute, and pretty, and hers.

"I want..." Suralinda shifts, rocking down against the muscle of his thigh. "Force, there's so much we can do now."

Poe nods, muzzily. "What do you want?"

Suralinda closes her eyes, lets all of the sensation of being so _close_ to him overwhelm her senses. He's mugging up the air with pheromones again, thicker and sweeter than before, and his drying sweat is sweet when she takes a quick sip of a breath. The toy is still there, sitting next to his knee, but that's not what she wants.

"Poe," she whispers. "Come on, I want you." It feels good to say it so simply: she doesn't want him guiding the toy, she wants _him_.

Poe's heartbeat speeds, but he smiles, awed and warm, and he kisses the join of her neck and shoulder gently. "Okay."

"Okay?" Suralinda rubs her fingertip against his lip, and then tilts his chin up so she can look him over, be sure he's serious.

Poe nods, his eyes shiny. "Yeah, yes. I..." His cheeks color and Suralinda wants to bite them. "It's fast, but it feels _right_ , doesn't it?" He laughs and shakes out his messy hair, rubbing a hand over the top of his head. "Or maybe I'm just, I want you, but I do. Want you."

"I want you, too," Suralinda says. She feels — soft. For the first time. Poe makes her feel soft.

Poe swallows, his eyes still dancing. "Do I need to go get a... I mean, I didn't bring any — "

"I don't think so." Suralinda blinks, her face plates constricting embarrassedly. "I don't think — no. We don't — need that."

Poe swallows again. His eyes are more serious this time. "Okay. Okay." He bites his lips together, looks at his hands on Suralinda's exoskin. "How do you wanna do it?"

"How do _you_ want to do it?" Suralinda has tried so hard not to think about what she couldn't have.

Poe shivers, but he doesn't shy away from her eyes as he lies back on the mattress the best he can with Suralinda still straddling his thigh. "Maybe like this? So you can be in charge?"

Suralinda nods, licking her lips. He's looking up at her with such big, sweet eyes, and she can see the vein in his neck pulse.

"If you start to feel weird _at all_ , then you've gotta tell me right away," she says again. She lifts her weight so that Poe can rearrange his legs on the bed, all of the blankets kicked down to the floor.

"I promise," Poe repeats. "And if you feel weird or if it's just not — not good, for you, you'll tell me?"

Suralinda nods and — she hadn't even considered that, that it might _not_ be good for her. It's Poe. She's hardly let herself think about it at all, but when she did... it's Poe. So it's good.

"Should we — do you need lube?" Poe looks sheepish, and he's squirming a little beneath her.

Suralinda flushes with warmth, almost embarrassed by how wet her cunt still is from coming on the toy. "I don't think so."

"Okay." Poe touches her knee, her upper thigh tentatively, fingertips resting against her exoskin.

Suralinda glances down at his cock, standing up from his tummy and dark pink, nearly purplish.

"I should put some on me, anyway," Poe says, and digs through the sheets with one hand to find one of the sample packets.

Suralinda hides her smile in her shoulder as he fumbles around with the packet.

He gets it open, and then she can't help but watch his fingers spread the slick on his cock. She grinds forward against his thigh thoughtlessly.

"Pfask," Poe whispers, absently. "Hold on."

Suralinda wrinkles her nose and rocks more intentionally against his skin. She hates being told to be patient.

"Okay," Poe says, and his hands rest lightly on her hips. One of them is still a bit sticky. "Just — whenever you want. I'm ready."

Suralinda is ready, too, but she's not really sure how to _proceed_. It seems strange just... scooting up onto his dick. She snorts at herself.

"I don't really know either," Poe admits, cheeks pink. "I — here." He gets his sticky hand around his cock again and holds it up. Like an offering, Suralinda thinks, and that's almost funnier.

She bites the inside of her cheek to try to stifle the laughter and shimmies up, straddling his hips.

"What?" Poe says, almost squeaking. Suralinda snorts and covers her mouth with her hand. "What?"

"It's just _weird_!" Suralinda talks between her fingers, muffled.

"I can't help it, that's just what it looks like," Poe says, helplessly.

"No, no — " Suralinda composes herself, and reaches down to touch Poe's soft stomach, his ribs. "I'm not laughing at _that_ , Poe. I meant it's weird to try to... get situated."

"Oh," Poe says, and his grin lights Suralinda up inside again. "Okay. Well — there's no rush. We have all night."

"I want you _now_ ," Suralinda protests, and shifts further up, his knuckles bumping her skin.

"Okay," Poe murmurs. "Do you want me to start? Um, on top, I mean?"

Suralinda shakes her head. She likes the way he feels under her, between her thighs, the way she can watch how his entire body responds to her like this. She likes being in charge.

"Okay." Poe keeps holding himself tightly with one hand, but the other leaves her hip to stroke up over her front, following all of the skin-plates as they get bigger and smoother up to her chest-plates. The heat of his skin helps: Suralinda doesn't feel like laughing now.

She shivers, and leans forward over him. "Let me — " she reaches down, fingers brushing his fingers and taking their place.

Poe's breath leaves his nose in one short gust. It's so hot in her hand that she's more tentative with it than she means to be — her fingers are slow in wrapping around it, tingling with the unexpected warmth and pulse of blood.

"Okay?" Poe asks. His voice is thick like he's holding his breath.

"I like it," Suralinda murmurs, and then — she can't kiss it, lick it to get the taste like she wants, so instead she finally inches forward to lower herself down.

Which... means lifting herself up, first, she realizes. There's an awkward moment as she tries to get the necessary height right, unsure of how much she can really maneuver his dick, and then the head snubs against her cunt _just right_.

" _Oh_ ," they both say, at the same time, Suralinda in surprise and Poe in something like awe, if Suralinda had to guess from the look on his face.

She eases forward again, leaning closer to him, and dropping her head to look down between them. It just looks weird, but it feels... good.

Poe's soft skin is red and blotchy all down his neck and to his chest, glistening with sweat as it rises and falls in quick breaths. Suralinda can practically see his heartbeat.

But she can feel it, too. She inhales, shakily, and eases down on his cock.

It isn't bigger than the toy, at least not by much, but it _feels_ different.

"You feel good," she says, careful, sucking back the venom in her mouth.

Poe makes a strangled noise of assent, nodding. He closes his eyes, and his head falls back against Suralinda's pillows.

Suralinda eases her knees wider, sinking into the cradle of his hips easily. He feels right inside her, and any lingering doubt that somehow this might not work, that /they/ might not work together, is gone.

" _Oh, kriff_ ," Poe mutters, and his eyes pop open again as he struggles to prop himself up on his elbows. "That was — I thought it'd take more work."

Suralinda laughs. "What, why? Is it supposed to?"

"I don't know," Poe says, and when he laughs Suralinda can _feel_ it, the way his muscles move, all connected to each other. She knew, obviously, but — his _body_ is inside her, and she can feel how alive he is, and it's amazing.

"Well," she shrugs, and rocks experimentally in his lap.

Poe bites a sharp curse into his shoulder.

"Is that — " Suralinda doesn't know what to do with her hands, rests them on his tummy. He's so warm inside her that she feels a little dizzy, unused to the feeling. "Okay?"

Poe nods. His hands flex in the bedding at his sides like he doesn't know what to do with them, either.

"You can touch me," she reminds him, shifting forward to lean over his chest. He could reach to kiss her chest and her shoulders if he wanted to, and maybe her proximity will prompt him to.

Poe tucks his face into the curve of her neck but he doesn't quite kiss her, instead his open mouth a shock of hot-soft-wet.

Suralinda rolls her hips, suddenly hungry, and slips a hand down between them again.

Poe hisses a noise that might be _yes_ against her skin and then his teeth catch right at the edge of her shoulder-plate, biting down.

"Fuck," Suralinda gasps, twitching and driving her hips down harder than she meant to.

"Shit," Poe whispers back. His hands clasp tight around her hips, long fingers splaying over Suralinda's butt.

"I want to — " Suralinda huffs, her fingertips bumping Poe's cock as she rubs at her clit.

"Yeah," Poe says. "Please."

It's somehow better than the toy when Suralinda bears down on Poe, feels herself begin to shake with it.

"Yes, Linda, please," Poe murmurs, and he starts to help her move, hands firm and gentle at the same time on her hips.

She leans forward to rest her face against his shoulder and realizes she's breathing harder than before, clamps her mouth shut to keep Poe safe.

She lets Poe help her move, and all she can focus on is _I'm going to come_ and _keep your mouth closed, keep your mouth closed, keep your mouth closed_.

She manages both, which feels like a miracle with how hot Poe is inside and beneath her.

When she comes, with the smell and the heat of Poe all around her at every angle, she wants to make noise and press her face against Poe's neck or find his mouth with hers or any of the thousand things that could bring them that inch closer together.

Poe must sense it, somehow, another miracle, because he wraps his hand warm around the curve of her neck, his fingers scrunching in the hair at her nape, and pulls her down against his chest.

Suralinda slumps and presses her forehead right over his heart to listen to it thumping away. Poe's hands move gently through her hair and over the back of her neck, the length of her cranial ridge.

She can feel him faintly twitching inside her, and it makes her giggle, tired and sated and hopelessly endeared.

"Can I — do you want me to pull out?" Poe asks, his voice still tight even though his touch is so soft.

Suralinda hisses, and tightens her grip on him. "No. Unless you want to?"

Poe shakes his head. "Didn't know if you were too sensitive."

"Feels good." Suralinda shifts, testing out her words, but they hold. He just feels good inside her. A little sore, but satisfying, like scratching an itch.

Poe's face heats up against the side of Suralinda's head, the point of her ear. "You, too. Can — is it okay if I move?"

"Mmhm." Suralinda relaxes against his chest.

"Okay. Um. I'm not going to — " Poe exhales, hot against her ear. "Last. Long." 

"That's okay," Suralinda says, and it is: she can tell that she _will_ be sore later, even if it's not bad now. His fingertips keep grazing her cranial ridge softly and every soft pass makes her cunt twitch again.

"You feel _incredible_ ," he mumbles, rocking up against her hips in shallow thrusts. 

Poe's fingers brush the shell of her ear, his thumb warm against the hinge of her jaw, and he shudders all over as he comes, gasping and tensing beneath her. 

It's almost _too_ hot, and Suralinda startles, almost bouncing out of his lap when she clenches up tight without meaning to.

Poe whines, high-pitched and as surprised as she feels, his hips inching back. Still, his first question is for her: "Are you okay?”

"I — yeah," Suralinda says. "Just — just surprised."

"Sorry," Poe breathes. "Do you — here, I can — " he pulls back incrementally.

"No, I'm okay," Suralinda says. "Are you okay?"

Poe's scent is low and smooth and all-encompassing, satisfied and buzzy, but his heartbeat is still too fast.

"I'm really, really okay," Poe says, half-laughing. "Fuck, Linda." 

Poe's face softens and he props up on his elbows. "Here, you don't have to just — we can clean up." 

"I'm sorry," Suralinda mutters. "It's not your fault."

"Sort of is." Poe wrinkles his nose up adorably. "I can get you a cloth?" 

"I'm okay," Suralinda says. "Are _you_ sure you're okay?"

Poe sits up further, forcing Suralinda backwards, straddling his thighs, and they both look at his sticky red dick. "Well, it didn't fall off."

"That's good," Suralinda says, and she smiles at him. She feels funny between her legs, still, and cups her hand over her sore softskin.

Her fingers feel slick with something more than the familiar feel of her own wetness. 

"Linda," Poe says, softly. "Seriously, everything's alright?"

"Yeah! Yeah, I'm not — nothing's _disintegrating_ or anything," Suralinda says, and smiles wider. It makes her fangs pop over her lip, but Poe just smiles back and gently touches her ear. 

"Let me clean you up?" He licks at his own lip, reminding Suralinda of how much she wants to do the same thing.

"Oh." The word is more exhale than language. "I — okay."

Poe flushes. "I meant — I'll get a washcloth? Um."

"Oh," Suralinda says again, and her skin-plates prickle across her cheeks with something almost embarrassment. "Sure, yeah."

"Okay." Poe eases out from under her and perches on the side of the bed. "Not that I don't want to do that, I do, I absolutely want to... do that. But I figured maybe not tonight?"

"Yeah, that's a good idea," Suralinda says. She lets Poe kiss the top of her head and leans against him for a long moment, eyes fluttering closed.

He squeezes her waist carefully when he finally gets up, and Suralinda watches his butt as he walks to the adjoining fresher. 

"Here you go." Poe is back in a moment, with a damp washcloth, holding it out to her sheepishly.

"Thanks." Suralinda takes it gratefully and shimmies under the sheets before she drapes it between her legs. He'd used cold water like he knew.

He eases under the sheets next to her, leaving her some space between them, and curls on his side, watching her face. 

"Are you sure you're okay?" His forehead wrinkles adorably between his eyes. "You — I know you were worried about me, but I feel like I should have been more worried about you.”

Suralinda leaves the damp cloth draped between her thighs and turns on her side to face him, letting her nose brush his collarbone. Suddenly her conversation with Karé from months ago makes sense. She'd had such a hard time imagining how her partner could have more fun and she'd be _alright_ with that. But seeing Poe's face right now, sweaty and pink and so dear, she gets it. It's worth a little soreness. And they'll get better at this. "I'm good, Poe. A little sore, but it's not _bad_."

"Promise?" Poe searches her face with his big, dark eyes, and Suralinda flushes with fondness.

"Promise." She presses her thighs together. "It's — I like that it's _because of you_." It's a visceral reminder that they get something she thought she couldn't have. 

Poe's brow only creases more. "I'm not sure I like that you like that I hurt you, but as long as you say you're okay."

"It's not — " Suralinda struggles with the words. "It's not that you _hurt_ me. It's. I can just feel you. Like... an ache, I guess. It's not bad."

"Okay," Poe says. He yawns, all of his flat teeth on display, and Suralinda grins at him while his eyes are squinched shut.

She reaches out and touches the tip of his nose, and Poe blinks at her sweetly. 

His hair curls even more than usual where it's damp all around his face. 

"I'm glad your cock didn't fall off," she says, quietly. 

Poe laughs, sweet and sleepy and startled all at once. "Me, too."

"I — " Suralinda doesn't know how to say everything that she wants to express in that moment, how glad she is that he isn't hurt, but also how — how glad she is to learn that she can care about someone without hurting them, in general, but especially because it's someone like Poe.

"Yeah," Poe says, and kisses her between the eyes, his lips warm. The door creaks, and Poe pulls the blanket up over Suralinda instinctively. 

"Sorry!" Karé hisses, and her knee knocks hard against one of the dressers as she tiptoes across the room with her hands over her eyes. "Not looking, not looking, not looking."

"Sorry," Poe says, and Suralinda can feel the heat washing off him in embarrassment. But when she chances a look at his face, he's laughing silently. "I'll go. Just let me get my stuff." 

Karé stumbles into the dorm suite's fresher and calls through the door, "Take your time! I didn't see anything!"

Poe is still laughing as he kisses Suralinda's forehead. "I should go, though. I don't want it to be weird. Are you okay, if I go?" 

Suralinda nods and leans in to gently nuzzle her forehead against his cheek, letting the softskin of her cranial ridge brush his skin like lips would. "I'm good, really. I'm also really good."

Poe nods, his mouth closing over the bump of her cranial ridge at her hairline. "Love you, Linda." He kisses her once more between the eyes and scoots off the mattress, fumbling for his pants on the floor. 

Suralinda's face prickles again, all of her skin-plates relaxing at once. She's still sticky and uncomfortable between her legs, but she'll jump in the hydro once Karé can leave the fresher. She gets out of the bunk anyway, every inch naked and glad that Poe can see her that way, and crosses the room in two steps to wrap her arms around his waist. She rests her cheek against his smooth, warm back.

"Love you, too," she says, very quietly. She can't quite look him in the eye and say it, but she's pretty sure that it's true.

Poe's hands close over hers at his stomach, fingers twining between hers and squeezing gently. 

She can feel his heartbeat jump. 

"Well," Poe says. "Good. That'd be kind of awkward, otherwise." 

Suralinda nods, her forehead rubbing against his back. Something trickles down the inside of her thigh, and she squirms. "Breakfast?"

"I'll come by to walk down with you?" Poe proposes. 

Suralinda smiles. "Okay. Good night, Poe."

"Night, Suralinda." He twists in her arms and hugs her tightly. "Tell Karé I'm sorry." 

"It's fine!" Karé yells through the fresher door.

"I thought you'd be with Iolo until later!" Poe shouts back. He kisses Suralinda's eyelids, one after the other. "Okay. Breakfast tomorrow. Goodnight!" 

He disappears, uniform shirt barely askew. If Wexley catches him in the corridor, he can almost pass off pretending to have fallen asleep studying.

Karé peers around the fresher door, and Suralinda presses her thighs together, making a face. "I need a shower," she says, trying to ward off the amusement in Karé's eyes. 

"Oh _do_ you?" Karé sing-songs.

"Karé," Suralinda says, flatly, and pushes past her into the fresher. Karé hops onto the counter and grins, swinging her legs as Suralinda starts the hydro. 

"So? It didn't melt?" 

Suralinda looks over her shoulder before she remembers that last Karé heard, they were only going to try out a toy. Maybe. 

"Um — no." She clears her throat, and tries to look aloof. "Actually, it turns out I'm not as dangerous as I thought I was."

"Yay!" Karé applauds as Suralinda steps into her fresher sandals and disappears behind the grimy duraplast curtain.

Suralinda shoves her face under the spray and breathes for a moment, the fresh metallic tang of the mineral-rich water. "I mean, we had real sex," she says. 

The curtain whips back and suddenly Suralinda's face is full of Karé's hair. 

"Um," Suralinda says. "Hi."

"I'm so happy for you!" Karé crows, somehow whispering and shouting at the same time. 

"Thanks." Suralinda bites her lip. "I am too."

"And you're both okay?" Karé stops hugging Suralinda and pulls back enough to look her in the eye. "Poe looked okay, but are _you_ okay?"

Nodding, Suralinda leans back against the cool tile of the shower stall. "Yeah. I'm a little sore? And I feel gross, but it's not — it was still good."

"Yay!" Karé cheers again, bouncing on her toes. "How many times did you do it? Can I tease Poe? Can I tell Iolo? Can Iolo tease Poe?"

"Um — " Suralinda pulls the shower curtain around Karé so the water doesn't pool outside on the floor. "Once? Or, twice, but the first time was just with the toy and then when he was touching me after we realized it was... safe, so."

"Yay!" Karé keeps whisper-shouting. "I'm so happy for you! And for Poe! For both of you!"

Suralinda nods, crossing her arms over her chest-plates and scooting under the water. "Are you going to move so I can clean up, or?"

Karé inhales, and gives Suralinda a _look_. "Wait, did you use a condom?"

Suralinda shakes her head. "I don't — neither of us has been with anyone else and I don't have babies that way."

"I'm a little jealous if I'm honest," Karé muses, and then frowns. "I'm sorry, that's an asshole thing to say. I'm happy for you, honestly, that's all."

Suralinda smiles, lets her fangs push at her lower lip. "Thanks. Me, too."

"And I'll let you clean up," Karé adds before Suralinda can say anything else about it. "But I'm gonna stay in here and I wanna hear all about it, if you want to tell me." She grins and disappears around the curtain, and Suralinda can see her shadowy form perching on the counter top again.

"I don't know what to say," Suralinda says when she finally breaks open a soap capsule and the foam spreads in her hands. "He's cute and I like him."

“Just like?” Karé’s voice lifts at the end, curious. 

"I..." Suralinda trails off and lets the water stream down her face. "Hey, do you have any more of that moonrise petal shampoo?"

Karé laughs. "Here." Her hand extends the bottle above the curtain. "I'm happy for you, Sur." 

"Thanks." Suralinda takes the bottle and washes her hair. Her cranial ridge still feels warm and shivery, and Suralinda smiles down at her feet.

When she gets out of the hydro and dresses in her softest underwear and a big t-shirt that she stole from Poe's footlocker, Suralinda finds Karé has already pushed their bunks together and made two mugs of hot chocolate.

She rolls her eyes, but crawls onto her bunk and scoots into the middle, leaning into Karé's shoulder. "Thanks." 

Kare just kisses Suralinda's cheek, right on the flat of one skin-plate, and wraps her arm around Suralinda's shoulders.

"Love you," Suralinda whispers. 

Karé laughs. "That's not so hard, is it?" 

"Force," Suralinda says. "I was wrong. I hate you. That's what I meant."

“Yeah." Karé tightens her arm around Suralinda's shoulders and squeezes her tightly. "I hate you too."

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this Extremely Niche Rarepair in this continuing silly series of Very Niche Poe Dameron Rarepairs! We can be found on Tumblr @[aimmyarrowshigh](http://aimmyarrowshigh.tumblr.com) and @[nichestars](http://nichestars.tumblr.com), respectively.


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